Dark Beauty

Author: Angel Summary: Completely alternate universe. Angelus is a vampire, and he has no desire for knowing anything but the darkness that surrounds him from day to day. Until he meets the daughter of Hank Summers, that is. Now he's torn between letting beautiful Buffy live her life as it should be: perfect. Or giving in to his urges and stealing her away in the night, to be his eternal mate.

Warning: Contains dark, NC-17 Material, and all writing aspects as such. Please be of age to read on.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think! angelattitude@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: All characters were originally created by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, and all other participants in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. I am simply using the characters for my own personal pleasure, and the amusement of other fanfic readers/writers like myself. So please don't sue me for giving in to my urges of writing what I only wish would happen on the show that is intent upon giving me a double stroke in every episode that I watch. Thanx so much!


Part 1

Have you ever felt the cold? Have you ever felt the deep mystery that lies within us all at the first touch of the cold to our skin on a cool, winter's day? Or perhaps you have never felt cold that skims down through your warm skin as swiftly as the breeze, to grab hold of your blood with it's tiny, frozen hands and squeeze you tightly until you can no longer breathe. Those of you who have never felt this cold, I must say…You are few, and far between.

I felt the cold.

I feel it still.

It calls me to its door step every day, and I never turn away. I follow it willingly, hoping that if I follow, it will one day tire of me and never beckon for my heart again. But that day has yet to come to me, as I find still, that the cold reaches for me night after night.

But then there is warmth. Warmth like sunshine I can never endure, if I expect to live to see another moon, and another night. Well, I can't say I live, because philosophically, as well as literally…I am dead in all aspects. But then they did say that the dead could rise and feel life…Didn't they? I know now why they said that, for I have felt the heat of life bouncing over my veins like fire set to a line of kerosene. I have felt the small of sunshine as it rained all around my face. I have felt the warmth of a love that a creature such as I should never have dared to hope for.

But then again, I'm not like every creature such as myself…If there are any that match what it is I have become.The fire I speak of. The warmth that saves me from the cold. She is my fire. She is my life line to the life that I so long to embrace and hold tight. With her in my arms, I can almost imagine having the sun rise and set around us, and sleeping at night instead of waking. It could almost be real…

But the fantasy dies when I realize that I shall never be able to provide her with the life I so long for. With the warmth of the sunshine that I can never have a part of.The odd thing is, that no matter what, she doesn't seem to care.

She doesn't care if my life is spent in the darkness. She will gladly join me there, for she feels that the day has nothing to offer her. She doesn't care for the darker tinge of her skin tone that may befall to her and make her even more spectacular, if she stays in the sun's glorious ways. No. She doesn't care.She doesn't care for the smiling faces on happy beaches where children can play in the sand under the watchful eyes of their loving parents. No. She doesn't care for this at all.And she doesn't care, that no matter what we may feel, there is always a heat stronger, warmer, than the love and warmth I can offer her from the depths of my soul-however damned it may be. No. She has yet to begun to care for the thought of another world than in my arms.All she cares, is to be here with me.

And I smile at the irony of the situation…Who would have thought an angel would so love to play in the arms of the devil…In eternal darkness.Not I. Not I, the devil. The one that through loving her, condemns her to Hell for all eternity. But what of it? If we got to Hell, then we shall burn for eternity together. Burn, with our love, and with our pain. For pain is love, and all evil is good. Nothing can come from suffering, if those of suffer know nothing but pain.

So I know love.

I know warmth despite the cold.

I know Buffy.

My story begins, in a darker place. A darker time. One that I care to never tell my love about. I would never tell her of my drunken father, who would come home to our plantation every night and ruthlessly abuse my mother in his dark, cold state of mind. I would never tell my sunshine, of the cries of my sisters as they crawled in to bed with me to avoid being taken away by my father to a fate that the Devil himself, could only imagine as a nightmare.

I could never describe to the warmth of my life, how such a shadow was cast around the room as I fought my father for protection over my sisters and their lives. The way that the darkness enveloped me when he loomed over me, the smells of the alcohol on his breath. It is all too dark for my beauty. I would never allow her to bare the thought of my memories of pain.But it is from these memories, that led me to the death that took me to life. For one night, I didn't get home before my father in his usual drunken state. My horse had stumbled, and my father's time surpassed my own.

I failed to save my sisters. My mother. And all that was left when I arrived at last, was the stench of death and despair, and the questioning eyes of my smallest sister, Faith, as she stared up at me and asked me why I couldn't have saved her from this treacherous fate.

And every night from then, I asked myself why it was that of all nights, fate allowed me to be late on the night that my father took my existence away, by ending my own life as well as the only people I cared for, when I tried to breathe life in to my mother.

I stumbled in to the night, bleeding slowly to death, only to be found by a death worse than the one my father had inflicted upon me. I found eternal death, in the eternal life that Darla granted me that evening. As the poison from my father's gun drained my life, Darla drained my blood and fed me in return, creating the ultimate pinnacle of beauty, death, and everlasting life that none could hope for.

And so I was reborn as Angelus. No longer Liam, for Liam had died by his father's hands, and Angel, the beauty and darkness of the night, was born from Darla, the Dear One who took pity upon his soul and gave it up to the heavens in exchange for an eternal mate to kill with.

I accepted this with a song in my soul, even as it fled my body, and from then on I was nothing. I was darkness. Beauty, yes. Completely seductive in a way that only we, the condemned, can seem. But then, I was pure darkness down to the last drop of blood that Darla drained from me.

For two hundred and forty years, Darla and I existed together. We tasted the death of one era, and the birth of another, many times over. We saw the south fall. We watched America rise to stand strong above the world as the ruler of the earth with a power no man could bare alone. We saw fashions circle, but never fade. Every love, every beauty, it never died. It merely faded for a time, and then came back with renewed force for a period, only to again hush away until it was called forth once more by fashion-starved victims of no new thrills or impressions.

We moved from place to place. City to city. Ruin to ruin. Castle to castle. Never for a moment were we settled. Darla's obsession with death turned me off, for something inside of me hungered more for the hunt, rather than the death in itself. To hear the beauty of a mind working to save a soul as I hunted, was purely the most amazing of things that could be offered to anyone. Even a dead creature such as I.

Darla loved me in her own way, lavishing gifts of love, passion, and material upon me every chance she had, although she was the one who indeed loved to be spoiled. Her frequent "toys" as she liked to call them, were particularly involved in the line of letting her have every desire fulfilled by their pockets, their hearts, their mouths, and their bodies. Nothing was to be desired for, for Darla.

She asked me so many times during every night, why I never gave my heart to her. I could only reply that my heart was not mine to give, for it had fled the night that she changed me in to the death I had become. Death had no soul, so how could I give my own to someone as if it were true?

After over two centuries of loving, of hoping I would change to her, Darla tired of my company, and left me alone. I wandered on, alone now, but oddly enough feeling the same as when I had all the company in the world in Darla and her numerous and always amusing companions. I fed, yes. But never with the desire Darla had. A vampire could live for months off one kill, and so I did. I limited myself to the hunt, and once I saw death, I fled. I loved to taunt and tease, and twist with my victims, but nothing could be said for the kill itself. For to me, it was nothing to be cherished. Just frowned upon.

Finally, I lost all hope.

After two hundred and fifty years, my hope had finally fled. It had started to waver when my father first hit my mother, and now it has fled with the realization that a man can not change.I can not change.

But then a new light dawned. A sunshine so bright that I thought it would, like natural light, take my life. I welcome this death's embrace of life.

I had started a business. A multi-million dollar corporation now. It had been something to distract myself many years ago, but now it had become the only thing I had left to cling to life. It specialized in shipping, and I controlled the entire works of it, making sure nothing slipped my mind.

My fortune rose substantially with every deal I made, and I spent m money as fast as I earned it, hating the people that came along with it. I bought mansions all over the world. One in Ireland, near my home, though it was never visited. One in New York. One in California, where the sun was so bright that I slept mostly while I was there. One in Canada, where no one was around to hear me scream.

One day, it was brought to my attention of a potential business deal between my corporation and another like it. It could be one of the most fantastic mergers of all history in the shipping business, and with luck I could soon rid myself of the owner of the other corporation, and own it all by myself, ruling the world of shipping and becoming richer with every passing day.

For they do say that money makes the world go round.

It was arranged for me to meet the owner of Summers Shipping one evening in the spring, to discuss the merger with D'Aestas Inc. I arrived fashionably late, by about five minutes, and was shown in to the parlor of the Summer's mansion. Over all, it was like any other mansion in the world, but for some reason to a vampire, it felt as though it was different. It hummed of a life I didn't know, and a passion I could only hope to seduce with my smile.

Hank Summers, an aging man in his forties, was nothing to be alarmed by. He had the same dark smile as any business man, and I matched it with a fake smile of my own. We sat in the parlor, and over brandies, we discussed the potential of a merger and all it would include.

Deals were passed. Offers were made. That night we came to the conclusion that we would be undefeatable if we joined forces to rule the world of shipping, and so we did. That night, contract were signed and agreed upon, and D'Aestas Summers Shipping Inc. was created.

As we shook hands the final time, Hank said he usually didn't mix family with his business, but seeing as how we would be working closely to form this enterprise of power, that he would make an exception. I was invited to dinner the following evening, to enjoy time with his family. He informed me of a wife, Joyce, and a daughter with strong will and a "fire for life" that he rightly had named Buffy.

I politely accepted the invitation, and agree to arrive the following evening as promised. As I left the mansion to the car that was waiting for me, all started by the valet of the Summers' residence; I noticed something in a window at the top of the three-story, stone mansion. In a small, window, I saw a face. This face, I knew, would haunt me for the rest of my eternity.

The light from the lamp she had on, cast a glow around her, and lit up her golden hair in a way that reminded me of the last sunrise I had ever seen in true life, in full color. Not on some television screen.

She watched me closely, her bright eyes flashing with intrigue. With my vampirically enhanced senses, I could smell the sweet vanilla of her perfume, and I could see the bright outlines of her eyes. Her hair glowed in the light in a way that could only be described as glorious.

My heart, usually kept so distant from myself and my mind, leapt towards the beauty in the window. I tried to shake it. All of this feeling and emotion from one face? One glance? How was it possible? I tried to ignore it as I went to sleep that night, in my large, dark-canopy-covered bed. I had long ago given up the coffin, for a more comfortable manor, although I kept it nearby in the event that my heart should yearn for the past…

Which it never did.

It never would. For my heart was forgetting the past with every passing day, as what was left of my soul was fading away with my loss of hope. But perhaps that face could return my faith. It could. Inside, deep down in my darkness, I heard a light that whispered…

It could.


Arriving for dinner, I was not surprised at the way the home had been lit with an elegant manor that spoke of grace and stature. I had dressed for the occasion, and so had everyone else. I met Joyce, Hank Summers' wife, and she smiled politely in all her womanly beauty, and I kissed her hand like a proper gentleman.

Hank led me form the parlor in to the dining hall, where he helped Joyce seat, and then asked a maid where Buffy was."For Christ sake, Adelaide, where is my daughter?" He asked in a hushed tone that spoke of how upset he would be with her if she did not show up when she was bid to be her overbearing father and his ego.

"I'm here," she said with a sigh, entering the room dressed all in white. It was so appropriate, for the beauty that walked in to the room, was the angel I had seen at the window. She was magnificent with her innocent glow that screamed of allure that she wasn't aware she contained. Her naïve mind was all the more attractive to someone who has tasted more darkness and evil that many can share in seven thousand lifetimes.

"Ah, Buffy," Hank smiled broadly when he saw that she had dressed for the meeting. Her long, white gown hugged her perfect curves in a way that I had yet to see fashion achieve over the years. Her body was perfection defined, and I couldn't help but to gawk slightly at her beauty and her mystique.

Her blonde hair was held off her face, and cascading down the back of her low-cut dress in gentle waves that made me long to run my fingers through them as she slept in my arms after a night of love.

She smiled at me when she saw me, and held out her hand. Her nails were done perfectly in a French manicure, and I imagined for a moment that she was offering me her hand for eternity, not just for an introduction.I took it, and calmly bent to kiss her tender, soft skin, all the while never letting my eyes leave hers. Her breath caught in her chest as she gazed at me, and I know that had it not been for her father breaking the trance we were in by clearing his throat to draw attention back to his greedy smile and his ready-to-kill soul, that I could have stayed that way with my new love and obsession forever.

Forever and beyond.

Throughout dinner, I found myself barely able to listen to Hank Summers as he explained his family, how he got started in the business of shipping, and all of his hobbies. Usually I would be inclined to practice the well-learned art of pretending to listen to everything he said and ask questions to express interest, but the mortal beauty sat across from me, looking delicate and precious, was more than enough of a distraction.

My mind was whirling, and I began to wonder if it was possible for love to exist at first sight. Would she agree? Would she accept me if I revealed my true self? My true face? The horrible things I've done? No. I had to stop thinking about such things. The idea of even thinking of taking this precious jewel in to the night and eternal darkness with me was unfathomable. I had to stop myself from looking at her. The cautious, hesitant smiles and glances that she was shyly passing my way were making it so hard to ignore her. She was seduction defined, perfect and pure, and erotic in the most natural way.

Towards the end of dinner, I couldn't resist speaking to her in one of the few breaks between Hanks rambles. "Buffy?" I quested.

She smiled and a faint blush covered her cheeks."Do you attend school, or does your father arrange for home-schooling?" I asked her casually, trying to make it seem that I wasn't all that interested. After two hundred years, I had become exceptionally good at acting calm and collected. It was one of the things about me that had driven Darla to leave. That I never showed emotion. Of course there were many, many other reasons for Darla's leave.

"My father has a tutor come every Tuesday and Thursday," Buffy replied with a slight smile. "The rest of the time I educate myself on the lessons of scientists and English philosophers from my father's collection."

One of the things that amused me the most about the education system that the government invested so much money and time in to, was that two hundred years ago, education in a formal way didn't exist, and in a few years, I knew that it wouldn't even be a thought.

"Buffy is quite interested in philosophy," Hank explained, jumping in to the conversations once more. "Especially Irish and Greek mythology."

"I enjoy the Celtic passages," she added with a slight blush.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. My internal mind was suddenly blinking a signal light to me. The woman who had so abruptly bewitched my heart and my soul, was interested in something I could speak of with passion and complete intellect. It was my chance to know her. To hold her. "It just so happens, Miss Summers, that I specialized in the studies of Irish mythology and Celtic phenomena at the University of Ireland. I'm originally from those areas, my…Family goes back to the days of the Celts." That was true, I told myself. Just as long as too much about my past wasn't revealed, it was clear to me in the utmost confidence of my mind, that this plan forming in my mind would work.

"Is that so?" Mr. Summers was impressed. He looked to his daughter and said, "well, Buffy, it so appears that if you had the will to learn more, that Angelus might be a fabulous tutor. That is, if he was interested."

I tried to keep calm, while my insides were churning for what seemed like the first time in three hundred years. That would be the first time in my entire existence. If it was possible for beauty to love a beast, than sunshine could fall for the light, couldn't she? Anything was possible if she only understood…

"I usually don't have much time on my hands," I began trying to keep my words precise and uninterested with a slight tinge of intrigue. The look of sheer disappointment in Buffy's eyes as I spoke those words, made me rush uncharacteristically in to my point. "However," I said a little too loudly. "It just so happens that with a merger between your father and I, Buffy, that I'll have a little less work to do, since the company will have two operators."

The beaming smile that she sent my way was enough to melt even the coldest of hearts in the middle of the arctic circle.

After dinner, Hank and I made arrangements for seeing eachother later in the week, and I turned to Buffy to say good-bye. She smiled at me in an adorable way when I kissed her hand like a proper gentleman should, and I knew that I had lost myself right then and there. Or for that matter, I'd lost myself the moment that I laid my eyes on her.


Leaving the Summers Residence that evening, the cold hair hit my skin, and I felt the temperature for the first time in over two hundred years. It was rare for a vampire to feel the heat, or the cold, but around Buffy, it was almost like I could feel again. Could it be that she was the source of my faith? Perhaps I had endured this trial of death and it's existence for a purpose. Perhaps Buffy was my purpose.

But then, she was so beautiful. So young and virgin to the world. I couldn't bare the thought of touching her youthful heart and holding it to my own, though I knew that there was no way I could bare to let it end any other way.


Over the next week and a half, I spent many hours working with Hank Summers, but not a mention was made about Buffy. For the first time in all that I could remember, I found myself restless and uneasy. My mind was always focused on her, even when I slept-not breathing but dreaming. Dreaming of the glorious sunshine that was Buffy Summers.

One day, coming out of one of our main offices, I asked Hank how his family was, hoping it would lead nonchalantly to the topic of my seeing Buffy again before I went insane.

"Well, Joyce is out of the country with some girlfriends for three weeks. I will be heading down to Chicago tomorrow for a few weeks of meetings about the organization while you tend to things here. All in all, I think things with the family are great." He smiled.

I wondered briefly if he was aware that he had avoided Buffy's part in all of this, or if it just got left out naturally because he was as self-involved as any other business man I'd ever met.

My hands were crossed behind my back, and as we walked I asked casually, "and Buffy? How are her studies?"

"Buffy's fine," he smiled. He stopped then suddenly. "Oh! I almost forgot something!"

I looked at him, slightly concerned and confused about how mentioning his daughter could remind him of work he had to do. "What?" I asked, peering closely at the worm of a man that had created the most perfect creature in the world.

"Buffy," he smiled at me as a memory shot across his sly features. "Buffy was interested in getting together to learn more from you."

"Really?" I tried to act like it didn't matter as much as my heart was pounding, though it didn't beat.

"She's been talking about it all non-stop," Hank laughed slightly "Actually, If I have to hear one more thing about you over a casual dinner at home, I do believe I shall have to kill you myself, Angelus."

I chuckled softly to show my amusement as he laughed, though I didn't particularly have the focus to fake a laugh.

"No, not really. I do believe however, that she mentioned that this week, her tutor, Mr. Giles wasn't coming on Tuesday due to a surgery he is having on his knee after tripping down the stairs. You know men in their fifties, huh Angelus?" Hank smiled.

I wanted to say 'been there, done that' but I knew better than to imply something that could lead to question. I simply nodded as we continued to walk, and waited for him to speak more, rather than pushing the subject and making him suspicious about my interests in his young daughter.

"Anyways, she asked me if I would offer Tuesday to you." He stopped and turned to look at me. "Buffy is...She's very special to me, Angelus. She has interests that most girls her age care nothing to know exist. She has much potential with what she does, I do admit that. Most fathers would will their own successful line of work upon their only child, but with Buffy...No. I don't want her in this fierce world of business. And what she enjoys, seems to be where she will one day put her life."

He paused a moment, and I found myself listening to every breath, every heartbeat very closely as he confessed that his daughter did indeed matter to him slightly from time to time.

"Well, what do you say, Angelus, my boy?" Hank asked. "Do you have the time or care to tutor my daughter, or shall I...Send my regrets for you?" He raised an eyebrow to watch me.

I smiled, showing no emotion, "Hank, the Celtic passages and traditions are probably where I should have staked my profession, despite that I seem to have a knack for business. I would be thrilled to speak to your daughter of them, and it so happens that Tuesday, is an available day for me."

"Good, my man," Hank smiled and patted me on the back like a child. "She will be absolutely thrilled."


Part 2

"Buffy!" Marie hollered at the top of her lungs to me. "Buffy, Mr. D'Aestas is here!"

"I'm coming, Marie!" I hollered back, leaping off my huge bed and bouncing over to stand in front of my full-length mirror. I gazed at my reflection and took a deep breath. Hopefully I looked good enough. I had dressed differently than I would at any other "tutoring" session. Usually, for Mr. Giles, my tutor, I would dress in water made me seem smart. But now, for some reason, I was dressing like a woman for this meeting with Angelus D'Aestas.

Ever since I'd first seen him outside of my father's home, when he was going to his car, I'd known there was something about him. Something dark and alluring in a way that I wasn't aware had even existed until now. There was something down in his soul that intrigued me.

When his brown eyes had first glanced up at me in the window, I had wanted to die right then and there. My heart and screamed, and my mind had flown in to over-drive. Ever since, he was all I could think about. Sure, it was probably wrong and naughty of me to have such dark and seductive thoughts at my age, especially of someone of his age-which I could only guess by his face to be about 26. But if I judged by his eyes...I would have thought he was ancient. Inunsuccessfully, to keep my thoughts on boring topics, instead of what he might look like with no shirt on...What he might smile like...Taste like.

My reflection didn't show me a soon-to-be-seventeen girl who was innocent to the world besides what her father had allowed in to her sheltered life. The reflection that stared back at me with eyes darker than usual in a hint of desire-was not the usual girl I saw. Now I looked mysterious (in my opinion) and a bit darker. Like Angelus.

My eyes had been darkened with black eye liner and mascara, and my cheeks had been flushed to a tanner shade with the extra tanning time I'd put in last week at the sun parlor in the beauty salon my mother had installed in to the back of the property.

My outfit was one that I hoped didn't leave too much to the imagination, without giving the wrong impression of being a complete "slut" who chased after every business partner my father had. I was in dark, low-riding jeans that hugged my curves perfectly, in a trite shade of blue. My top was a red, three-quarter that left part of my stomach bare, just below my belly button, and a rather low-cut V-neck in the front.

For jewelry, I had been torn on my decision, but finally I had adorned a pair of silver earrings, with a matching chain around my neck that had a silver pendant that meant "Eternity" in Chinese.

Marie entered the room now and said, "Buffy! Your father warned that you mustn't make Mr. D'Aestas wait for you. He is a busy man, and your father says that his time is hard to come by." Her French accent was clear in her voice when she talked, and she moved like any other woman from France. With purpose. With meaning. And with all the poise her short, stout body could handle.

"Okay, Marie," I smiled at her and left my room next to where she stood by the door.

She stopped me before I left and said, "Miss, I hope you plan to behave yourself. I'd hate to think that you're happy of Mr. Giles' unfortunate accident and surgery." Her voice and eyes warned me, but I was in such a good mood that I couldn't be bothered to be upset about her suspicions.

Plus, she was pretty much "on the button" with them.

"Don't worry, Marie. I'll be good," I assured her, and bounced towards the long, elegant staircase that led down to the front door.

As I descended the staircase, Angelus D'Aestas came out of the parlor, and looked up to me. His eyes caught with my own, and I had to stop moving. I stared back, my face changing in to one pure shock at just how gorgeous and perfect one man could be.

His eyes bore in to mine with a distant, appreciative gaze that I hoped was meant for the extra work I had put in on what I looked like. But still, he showed no emotion on his features otherwise. I found it hard to tell whether he was happy to see me, or whether he was mentally plotting an excuse to get up and leave after ten minutes of talking to me.

It shot me as strange how within ten seconds of seeing him, I was completely under his thrall. My mind was completely owned by the bare existence of his presence before me. The connection that I hoped he felt in return like I did, transcended passion and desire of any known type on this earth. I was quite certain that I would combust on the spot if he didn't stop looking at me like that...Like he loved me...

Suddenly my mind flashed to a vision. A dream. It was of myself, in this exact position at this same moment. I ran down the stairs to him, and he met me half way. His arms pulled me close, and his breath hitched as breath hitched as his lips plundered in to my own.

A soft moan escaped my lips, and I the ache between my legs increased ten-fold. I pressed closer to the hardness of his pants, my body telling me that what lay between those few layers of clothing, was the key to relieving the ache between my legs and the insistent need growing deep in side of me.

My stomach started to tingle as I thought of it, and for a moment, the passion and want was so intense that I thought I may lose my lunch and fall faint. I was so hot. So wanting...

My mind slipped back to reality, and I surfaced from my dream just in time to see Angelus shake his head as well, as if shaking off the exact thoughts and dreams that I was having.

But surely I was only seeing things...


I shook my head to rid myself of the mutual dream that I knew she had felt just now. The vision of her running towards me with such passion in her eyes...The feel of her soft body pressing closer and closer to the growing need that was held back from her through a few barriers of clothing.

It called upon over two hundred years of self control to keep from running to her and fulfilling the fantasy.

The way she looked, told me right away that she had felt something for me as well. After being around women for so long, especially when you looked like I did, I had grown very accustomed to the usual seduction tactics of the every day woman. But Buffy...She was seducing me with her presence alone.

Her innocent approach to catching my attention made me smirk for a moment, if only for a moment. The low cut neck, however much it did tempt me, made me wonder why she would go to such efforts. The available stomach told me it wanted to be loved, worshipped. But I ignored those emotions with all the control I had left.

I knew that this was going to be a very...very...very long day. And the way she looked at me with desire she probably wasn't aware she could have, was not going to make it any shorter.

I stepped forward and spoke, trying to break the intense mood between us before she turned and ran from me in fear of the darkness that I knew she could see. She was so brilliant that I knew she saw through my mask of calm collection and monoslavic demeanor.

"Buffy," I smiled slightly at her, and she started down the stairs again towards me. For a moment I could picture her coming down the stairs in the dream again, to rush towards me and...

"Good day," she smiled back, knocking me from my thoughts with her dazzling grin. Her own mask had returned, but I saw through the polite smile and words to what lay beneath. A woman waiting to be discovered...

"I trust you are well," I said, moving close and offering her my arm.

She smiled, "yes. And yourself?" Her small hand wrapped around my muscular bicep, and I wanted to kill myself on the spot from the feelings and emotions she could stir in me.

"I've never been better," I assured her, and then wanted to smack myself for coming off as a flirt. At this rate, she'd think I was a child molester by the time we made it to the library.


His words inflicted a blush upon me, and I wanted to die. I was sure that he could tell I was dying to see him without his shirt off. I was positive that by the time we sat down in the library, he would think I was a wanton slut...Especially if he could read my thoughts as well as I thought he could.

"I hope you didn't trouble yourself too much in coming," I tried to change the subject. "I was very looking forward to seeing you again."

He smiled again, that perfect half-smile that made my knees tremble. "It was nothing. Having someone to share and discuss my monomania for the Celt Traditions is some what of a new experience. I'm very interested to hear what you have learned."

We turned in to the library, and I rushed to reassure him, "I haven't learned that much, which is probably why you've intrigued me so much." I knew I was lying, but I didn't care. I could lie if I wanted to. Hell, I'd already condemned my soul to Hell with the dirty thoughts of Angelus that I had. Why not have fun on the trip down?

"I think we'll very much enjoy eachothers company, Buffy," he smiled at me again, and I wondered why he seemed to be teasing me so much and looking like he hated himself for it. Perhaps he felt the attraction too...Well, a girl could dare to dream, I suppose.


Watching Buffy as I spoke, I believe I was more fascinated by her reactions to what I told her, than she was by what I said. Her eyes were wide in the most adorable way, and she seemed completely consumed by her desire to know more about what I knew so much about.

She asked questions only when she didn't understand the terminology I used, or who I was speaking of, but mostly she just stayed quiet to listen to me speak. I could tell that she enjoyed my presence, and even moreso, she enjoyed the sound of my voice. Vampires were like that. We could tell when a human enjoyed something. Usually we avoided that aspect, but ofcourse I was inclined to steer towards complying with every wish that Buffy's internal heart desired.

I told her stories of the ancient Druids from Ireland. I told her of the rise of one particular Dried Priest named Roarke, and of his apprentice, Connor. She was fascinated with the stories of Roarke. Of his quests for greatness, and how he tried to expand his powers without the knowledge of the church as the Catholics started to make their rise to power of the land. Buffy tilted her head to the side innocently as I explained that the Catholics-despite their denial of powers existing-believed that Roarke was a threat to their lives, especially with all of the followers that he had gathered, so they decided that they must kill him.

Her eyes widened with horror as I revealed that one day, Roarke's apprentice, Connor, unknowingly revealed Roarke's location to a disguised catholic priest. The priest then called to all in the land of Ireland, that if Roarke was not killed by his own people, that he-as well as his followers-would be put to death with no prevail.

Upon hearing this, Buffy asked nervously, "what happened to Roarke?"

"His people loved him with all they could desire in their hearts," I explained, "but at the same time, they cherished the gift of life. Roarke had taught them, not knowing that it would one day lead to his demise, that the life and soul of a being, should be most important to them. With this knowledge, Roarke's people decided to drown him. Ofcourse, with his advanced powers, Roarke knew what his people intended to do, so he began a spell.

His people found him in the forest, practicing an incantation that would allow him to 'slip through the ring of life' and be reborn the moment that he died. He also cast a spell, that would be put in to motion every time on of his minions died. When they died, they had to stay with him, in spirit, and they were never allowed to leave him. It would be their punishment for killing him, because wouldn't you fear above all, the man that you had killed?"

Buffy nodded. "So, what happened? Did they kill him?" she asked, getting more and more excited with every passing word. Her passion for knowing about these things that I loved to discuss, was infectious. I felt myself more anxious to tell this story than I had ever been before.

"Roarke's people were numerous, and they were able to catch him easily. Roarke was drowned in a river in the middle of a forest called D'eRoarke. It is named after him now. When he took his last breath, he spoke the last words of his incantation, and the moment that he lost the last of his breath, his life essence-his soul-slipped in to another time and place, being born in to a baby that is predicted to have been born in 1985," I told her. "Eighteen years ago."

"Was it true? Was the baby born?" she asked.

"The baby was born, but only a collect few know about him. There are eighteen people all over the world, that know what he knows. Three of them are descendents from the catholic priests of the time he was killed."

Buffy was silent a moment as she processed the story, and then she asked thoughtfully, "what happened to his apprentice? Connor?"

I smiled, pleased that she had remembered. It felt good to know that someone was indeed listening to me of their own free will, and not from fear. This was intrigue. Delight. It thrilled my being to the core.

"Connor fell in love with Deleina, she was the daughter of Roarke. Roarke's wife had died when Deleina was born. But one day, Deleina discovered from a priest when she went to confession, that Connor had been the one to reveal the whereabouts of her father. She was so enraged that she tried to leave Connor. Connor would have none of it, so he killed her, and he killed himself."

"That's terrible," Buffy said.

"No one ever said that the Celtic Passages were kind, Buffy," I smiled slightly at her.

She blushed and whispered, "true."

"Deleina was reborn again as well," I continued. "She was born as Roarke's sister, so he could protect her and watch over her. Connor, since he had murdered, was not allowed to come back to earth. He was a spirit. A demon of sorts. He appeared to Deleina when she was a baby. He would speak to her, and when she was older, he tried to convince her to kill herself so that they could be together. But Deleina's new mother stepped in, and had some catholic priests perform a ceremony to put up a block around the little girl. After this, Connor wasn't allowed to see her anymore."

"Angelus, who are they? Roarke and Deleina? Do you know who they were born as? Are you one of the eighteen?" She tried to act calm, though her heart was pounding so fast.

I smiled, "that, Buffy, I can not tell you."

She pouted like a child and batted her eyelashes. "Please?"

It was then that we both realized how close we had moved to eachother. I was sitting on a large couch in the library, and Buffy had moved right up next to me, facing me. She was so close. I could smell her every scent. Her perfume, that delicate vanilla scent of it. Her hair, a citrus and vanilla aroma. And her other scents. When I looked at her, I caught the scent of her arousal, and I tried to inconspicuously inhale it.

She noticed me move, and her eyes locked on my own. Deep brown stared in to gentle green. She was so delicate down to the last strand of hair. Even her eyelashes seemed innocent.

Suddenly, my lips moved of their own accord, and did something that my conscious brain of rationalization told me was stupid and immoral. I asked her, "will you accompany to dinner this evening?"

She didn't respond verbally, as her eyes continued to seep desire in to my own. It was so much to handle. How could one small girl make me feel so crazy with want?

We were interrupted from our lock, when someone entered the room. "Miss. Summers," a short, young girl said politely.

Buffy turned to look at the girl, and she stared at her for a moment until it seeped through to her reality, that someone was speaking directly to her. "Yes?" she asked, and followed shortly with, "Lacey?" I assumed it was the young girl's name. The Summers' residence was very informal, but the names all seemed so old amongst the staff. So basic and old fashioned.

"Miss, there is a call for you. It is a Miss. Willow. Shall I have her call back at a later point and tell her you have company?" Lacey asked, glancing over at me to take a long look.


Lacey's look at Angelus sent my entire being in to a frenzy. Something inside of me was screaming that he was mine, and that no woman should have the right to look at him in a way of lust that condemns her own soul much like my own was at that moment.

I stood up abruptly, causing her gaze to shoot to me. Mission accomplished. But now to get rid of her. How? Sure, Lacey was just a hand maid around the house, but perhaps Angelus would want her because she was so pretty. I thought of something quickly that would get her gone. Angelus had invited me to dinner. Hadn't he? Had it been a dream? Hopefully not. If it was, I was about to make a grand fool of myself.

I paced back and forth once and put a hand to my forehead. "Lacey, um...Tell Willow I'll call her later, and...Tell Marie that I won't be attending dinner this evening, so not to worry about serving anything."

"Might I give Marie a reason?" Lacey asked politely.


She turned to look at me then, and I hoped that the excitement and anticipation of her possibly accepting my invitation was not evident in my eyes. She smiled in an adorable way. "I have other plans."


Dinner with Buffy was different than anything I could have expected. But then again, I hadn't really been expecting anything, for then I would be forced to believe that I had indeed made the foolish mistake of revealing that I had an interest in her. It was idiotic. It was moronic. It was just one more thing on my long list of deeds that would condemn my soul to Hell. Well, it would be an interesting trip down, I guessed.

Dinner was quiet but enjoyable between us in a small, French restaurant that barely anyone knew about. This was one of those exclusive places that only a select few "liked" billionaires could go. Being known as the one with the "angelic face" I was rather liked. I enjoyed coming here, but I usually went on my own, like everything else I did. But oddly enough, it felt right to have brought Buffy here with me.

We discussed little things over our dinner. We talked a little of the Celtic Passages-only the things that Buffy shamefully admitted she still didnt understand. We talked about my schooling on the matters, on why I had chosen that training and changed my direction to business. Ofcourse, everything I said was edited. I couldn't simply tell her that I knew all of the Celtic Tales, because I'd lived through most of them, and even been included in a few.

"What about you?" I asked, smiling for a change. I found myself oddly inclined to do such strange things around Buffy. Like smile. Listen with intrigue. State my true opinion.

"What about me?" she asked, taking a delicate bite of her dessert; something the French called Chocolate Desiree. In my opinion, it could much simpler be described as chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and shredded truffles laced throughout. However, the French were definitely different. Affectionately, I could call them "special".

"Well, what do you plan to do?" I asked. "Do you want to take over you father's business? Go to school and major in world history? I mean, you can do anything you want."

She smiled and licked her lips for the remaining bits of chocolate unconsciously. That simple act made my thoughts turn dark so fast. The way she affected me was impossible, and it seemed that with every breath she took, her inner darkness-though completely denied of existence and presence-was screaming to me to be embraced.

"World history?" she frowned. "Never. History is not my thing at all. The Celtic Passages and such, that's different. That's interesting because it's just like hearing stories of a beautiful time where things were easier, and prettier. It makes me so envious of all that they had back then...Even though I can't imagine living without running water and a hair dryer." She looked down at her plate, and then back up at me. Wrinkling her nose slightly, she asked, "I'm not making any sense here, am I?"

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. "You make perfect sense to me." I longed for the days of my childhood for how simple life could be, but then again there were so many wonderful things about technology and modern advances that made me almost forget how wonderful it could be to just lay on my back as a boy and gaze up at the stars with Faith.

It was strange how just being around Buffy almost made it possible for me to remember that I had once had a loving family, and a real life. I guess my thoughts of my past showed on my face, for Buffy asked in a concerned way, "are you okay?"

I looked at her for a long second, and my breath caught in my lips. She was so genuine. So beautiful. Perhaps I should take her home now, before this got any worse. Before I let myself give in to the urges of pretending that I was human. That I was normal. That I was remotely close to her age.

"In the library," I began, letting my words come straight from my mouth, rather than my head. "In the library, you jumped to make Lacey leave us...Why did you do that?" It had really made me wonder, and now I was desperate for something believable to talk about before I started spilling my entire life and non-life story.

She started to blush, and she seemed to be fumbling around her vocabulary for some words that made sense and explained her actions without making her vulnerable to me. "I, uh...I just wanted to have you-I mean, I wanted to be alone with...God, this really isn't coming out right. Or at all, actually. I mean, when I first saw you when I came down the stairs, it was like I had this vision," she looked up and a look of fondness entered her eyes, she stopped suddenly before she could reveal what I already knew. She had felt the same things that I had, and desired the same reaction from me that I so wished for from her.

"I can't believe I just started saying that," she shook her head. "I don't know. Being around you makes me want to be...honest. Which is unusual, because around businessmen, that's probably the last thing that anyone in their right mind would want to do. But I guess I'm not exactly in my right mind around you," she looked at me then.

I froze, hoping she didn't see through me. The warmth was tugging at the hinges of my cold sweater, and it was making me squirm in my seat. I could only pray to whatever powers existed, that I wasn't noticeable as I squirmed under her scrutinizing gaze.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked after a moment, sounding so calm. It was like suddenly the tables had turned, and I was the sixteen year old with no experience in life.

I nodded numbly, keeping my gaze and exterior dark and hopefully unreadable to her.

She looked down, and then to me, "why'd you really ask me to dinner? I know it's not so you can discuss more of the Catholic Religion's rise to power in Ireland in the 1800's, because you've barely mentioned that, so...Why did you really want to...?" She trailed off, hoping in her mind that I would fill in the rest of the question for her.

I spotted an eyelash that had come loose from her eye lid, on her cheek. It was the perfect excuse to steer conversation from answering the question she had asked, because in all honesty I didn't have an answer for her.

I leaned over the small table, and with my finger, I picked up the eyelash from her cheek. She looked down at my finger, and smiled. "Make a wish," I whispered.?

Her eyes shot to me, and she smiled once more. Then she blew the eyelash off my finger. I lowered my finger once more and I asked her, "what did you wish for, Buffy?"

A playful tease gleam shot in to her eye, and she said, "no no. You know I can't tell you, or else it won't come true."

"Do you think it will anyways?" I raised an eyebrow at her curiously.

She looked at me and said, "I can always dream, can't I?"


After dinner, I directed the limousine chauffeur to take us home, and the ride in the limo was basically silent. It wasn't that we had nothing to talk about, or that we were uncomfortable around eachother. But it was more that we were content to be in a comfortable silence around eachother. This was something rare that I had never experienced with any vampire, or human for that matter. I used to ask Darla if she could stand to just sit with me and enjoy the world as it passed us by, but she would usually quit within a minute if she agreed at all. She would need to speak, or to do something to keep her mind going.

Darla wasn't exactly the brightest star in the skies.

The limousine parked in front of the Summer's estate, and Buffy looked out the window at her home. "Weird," she said after a moment. "All of that space and size, and I use only a small portion of my wing of the house. Makes me wonder just why we have such a big place that we don't use. I mean...We have saunas that never get used. We have bathrooms that I don't know about, I'm sure. We have a full servant's quarters with twenty bedrooms, and only four servants. Why do we have all this space if we don't use it?"

"Perhaps your father is a man that likes to flaunt his wealth and power, and enjoy it while he has it. Perhaps he thinks one day he won't have the means to own such a glorious home," I suggested nonchalantly.

She frowned, "or maybe he's just making up for smaller things."

My eyes widened. Had she really just said that? I was in complete shock. I looked at her, and the realization of what she said dawned in her eyes. She started to blush furiously. "Sorry, I'm just...Around some of my friends there's dirty jokes and I guess I kind of just got..."

I saved her by saying, "it's okay, Buffy. I'm glad you can relax like that around me. I want to be your friend."

Her eyes and entire mood darkened, and she asked in a low voice, "just my friend?" Her eyes blinked up to look at me.

I paused in anything. Reaction. Words. Movements. I couldn't think of what in the Hell to do. My internal instincts were telling me to run. To get her away from me as fast as possible. But the warmth that was nipping playfully at the cold resting around me, was telling me how good it would feel to simply pull her in to my arms. I knew she wouldn't object. But would it be right to take advantage of such a beautiful creature?

My mind suddenly stopped, and I moved of my own accord, letting my body guide my movements instead of the usually-controlled parts of my brain. Something inside my body with the IQ of a shellfish, had decided that worries could wait.

I moved closer to her with the remembered grace of a jungle cat. After so many years, I had nailed my movements down to fluid motions, and everything just seemed to flow with me.

My hand reached out to cup her face. Her skin was so warm, and I could feel her hot breath coming shorter now against my skin. It was warming me down to the cool of my toes. It was perfection. I could feel my cold heart melting beneath her breath.

Her eyes shut, and for a moment I took the time to catch this image, so that it would be a memory forever. And then her lips came out to meet my own, as if she was tired of waiting for me to decide whether or not I would take the risk and jump with her.

The kiss was sweet, warm, and for some reason making me feel hotter than I had ever felt in my neutral temperature body. Somewhere in my mind, someone was screaming for me to stop, but the rest of me body and soul were telling me how right this was.

I pulled her that little bit closer, and she sighed contentedly against my lips, and allowed her mouth to part slightly in to an invitation that was to sweet to refuse. My tongue licked over her lips and I dipped in for a taste of the sweet taste of her. It was just as I could imagine. Paradise. She tasted faintly of chocolate from her dessert, and that vanilla scent that drove me insane was engulfing my mind and my senses. All of them.

I tried to savor the moment, knowing despite what my body told me, that this couldn't go any further, no matter how much her body was calling to me for consumption. I broke off the kiss in a tender way that told her we had to stop, though I didn't want to.

I gazed in to her eyes, which were almost grey now with the desire and passion she was feeling. "I'll walk you in," I whispered.

She nodded out of her head's own will, and licked across her lips. I doubt she knew how much that simple gesture made me want to tell the limousine driver to get out of the car and come back in a few hours. But something inside me resisted the possibilities, and I allowed my body to move towards the door.


I stepped in to my room, and shut the door behind me. I leaned back against it, hearing and feeling my head go THUMP! against the mahogany wood. Wow, was all that my brain could come up with since Angelus had kissed me.

True, it hadn't been my first kiss, but then again it had been. I had been "kissed" by other boys before, but not like that. That kiss was passing the stage of simple "lip locking" in to the stage of a complete physical and mental completion that I doubted I could ever feel with anyone else in such a way after this night. That was the gold standard by which any other kiss would ever be measured. For that matter, so was Angelus.

I had to talk. I had to get my brain to work, and then I had to just talk. Usually I would call Lacey in and gush to her, but since she seemed to like Angelus, I decided not to-despite the fact that it may warn her off for good. I went to my closet, willing my thoughts to start again.

As I changed in to some silk pajama bottoms and a tank top, my mind started up very slowly, to a point where thoughts were coming in half-way. As I brushed my hair out, washed my face, and brushed my teeth, I gathered more and more of myself so that I was basically a person.

I sat down on my bed twenty minutes later, and picked up my phone. Willow. I had to call Willow. Plus, she had called earlier so there was another reason that she was the perfect person to call.

She picked up on the third ring and said, "hello?"

"Hey Wil, it's me!" I said with a bright smile playing across my features. I couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"Buffy! Oh my God, what happened? Lacey said you were going out to dinner with someone. Who was it? Your parents are away, so it has to be a boy, seeing as how your nearest relative is five hundred miles away, and I'm your only girlfriend."

I laughed at Willow's rambles. "It was a guy," I said, laying back on my bed. "But not a boy."

"Not following," Willow was frowning, I could tell. "You went out with a drag queen?" she offered.

"No, Wil," I laughed. "Remember that business deal my dad made that I told you about briefly that's going to get him away from home a lot more?"

"Oh yeah! I remember. And let me add 'yippee'!" She shrieked.

I laughed, "I know. I think so too."

"But what does that have to do with the date?" she asked.

"That's just it...I went out with my dad's new business partner," I blushed as I admitted it.

"What?!" Willow was shocked. "Buffy, isn't he like fifty if he's your dad's business partner?!"

"No, Wil," I rushed to reassure her. "He's like twenty six or something."

"That's still pretty old, Buffy. But tell me what happened. You know this is dangerous, don't you?" she asked.

"I know. I mean, if I got him pissed at me, he could call of the thing with my dad, and it would be a living Hell here with my father for a few days..."

I was silent a moment, and then Willow and I both shrugged and said, "oh well. Too bad."

"So what happened?" Willow asked, and I could tell by the background noises that she was moving to cuddle up in her bed and listen to me. We did this a lot. Sometimes we'd fall asleep, still on the phone with eachother.

"Oh my God, Wil," I sighed dreamily and stretched my stomach muscles. "I can't imagine anything better."


"I can't imagine anything worse, Spike!" I groaned, pacing back and forth in front of one of my latest business partners. Spike was my new assistant, and he was the only person I could think of that would be half-interested in listening to me rant and rave. Usually I could just brood, but now that Buffy had happened... Things were changing.

I was changing.

"Calm down, Peaches. Im sure it's not all that bad," Spike said in a muffled voice as he lit his cigarette. He took a long draw of it and then said as he let the smoke fly out his mouth with practiced ease, "I mean, you obviously like the poof, right?"

I sighed as I paced. "She's not a 'poof', William, and for Christ's sake, will you put that cigarette out!"

He rolled his eyes and stamped it against my antique, mahogany table. "Well, do you like the bit or not?"

"She's different," I stopped moving. "I've met lots of people in my time, Spike, and...She's just..." I couldn't think of what to say.

"Perfect?" Spike offered.

"Possibly," I conquered, nodding softly as it sunk in that perhaps Buffy was the most perfect thing in the world.

Spike stood and came over to me, "well, Angel, if you love her, then what are you worrying about so much?" His crisp accent floated around his tongue like it didn't exist.

"That she'll love me back," I said quietly.


Part 3

I woke up with a start, my mind suddenly open and ready. What had woken me up? I had been having the most wonderful dream about Angelus, and suddenly it was like something had smacked me and forced me to deal with reality. Surely the dream wasn't to blame for my sudden need to wake.

I glanced to my window, and frowned. Why did I have such a compelling urge to go look out my window? What was out there that made me so curious all of a sudden? I could only hope to God that there wasn't a serial killer or such waiting below for me with a gun in hand; ready to be fired the moment that I went to my window to see what was going on.

I pulled back my thick duvet covers, and slid to the floor as quietly as possible. I glanced down at my ensemble, and rushed to straighten my tank-top and shorts. It seemed that while I slept, things just started popping out.

Taking my time being quiet, I walked to the window. I restrained my desires to turn on a light to let anyone-if there was anyone down there-know that I was up.

I took a deep breath, and stepped up to the window. Looking out, my eyes widened at the sight before me. Angelus was down below. I could see his car parked a ways down the drive way. He was pacing back and forth, and he looked like he was talking to himself. Perhaps he was just mouthing words, but it still looked odd enough. What was he doing here so late? Surely, if I'd forgot my purse or something, he'd wait until it was daylight to bring it back.

Nonetheless, I wanted to know why he was here. I grabbed a zip-up sweat shirt, and struggled it on as I slipped in to my sandals. I crept from my room with practiced ease, and rounded the corner of the hallway.

Down the stairs and to the front door. I stopped momentarily to ask myself if this was smart. What if he'd had a mental break down? After all, he IS standing outside my room in the middle of the night, talking to himself. But now, Angelus is so stable and refined. Something must have happened. Something must have come up. With that reassurance in mind, I punched in the security codes to unlock the front door, and opened it up wide.


I could tell the moment that she woke up, but for some reason I didn't listen to the rational voice in my head that told me to leave before she saw me. I had to see her. I had to get this all out now. I had to tell her how she was affecting me, and how wrong it was to let her affect me. I had to tell Buffy Summers, the woman who I found I was so desperately needing, that I could never see her again.

Then I had to go.

I had to disappear. Maybe go back to Ireland for a few years and spend some time in the monasteries with the monks. Maybe go to a university and teach. Anywhere. Anything. As long as it doesn't involve Buffy Summers.

I shook my head and put a hand to my forehead. What was I thinking? I should have atleast waited until a decent hour. But no, I needed to do this now so that she could start to forget about me. I needed to get this over with, so that I could start to put her in my past.

She had to become a memory to me.

There was no way in this existence, that I would allow myself to love and be loved, by such a beautiful, pure creature as Buffy Summers. But then again, I wanted it so badly.

She appeared at the doorway minutes later, looking as perfect as an angel could in her shorts and tank top, with that sweat shirt unzipped. My mind was filled with second thoughts. Maybe a letter would have been easier. Sure that was cruel and unjust, but she was good enough to know me, maybe she'd understand.

But it was too late now.

My heart surged towards her, and without a word she steps out of her home, completely trusting me with her safety, her soul, and her heart. Now. I need to get this done and over with NOW.

"Buffy, I can't see you again," I said in a solid voice.

She raised an eyebrow and looked at me awkwardly, "then what are you doing here? It kinda looks like you're seeing me right now."

"No, it's...Complicated. Extremely complicated." As I spoke, she started to step towards me. I didn't back up, but my voice got quieter with tension and nerves as she stepped close. I could smell her. That unique scent that told me years of knowledge.

"What is?" she asked, looking up at me curiously. Her eyes were misted slightly, like she was trying hard to figure me out in the dim haze of sleep that still surrounded her from the dreams she had been having.

"I came to see you to tell you I can't see you. Buffy, this has to end right here and now before you get hurt. I can't let you in to my life, because there's no place for you there." The hurt in her eyes was apparent as I spoke those last words, but she was too strong to back away without a reason.

Her voice began to shake with hurt as she asked, "there's no place in your heart...For me to love you?"

I felt my own heart-cold and ancient as it may be-break in half at the look in her eyes, and the raw emotion in her voice. I so wanted to be a part of her. I wanted her to be a part of me. But that's why I need to leave. I tried to remind myself that a beast such as I-a demon-could never love her fully. I have no heart to give. I have no life for her to live with me. My heart doesn't beat.

"I have to go now," I tried to tell her. "I have to...To walk away." I turned then, trying to get away from her as fast as I possibly could. I had to leave, and I had to leave now. There was no way I could stay.

But she stopped me, her hand reaching out to touch my arm with gentle tenderness. "Angelus, please," she begged, her heart and her voice breaking, and the tears in her eyes shining like diamonds. Bitter diamonds.

I stopped, though I should have kept going. That moment was all she needed to act. It took about three seconds for comprehension to kick in, that yes, she was kissing me, and I stood there like an idiot, unable to react.

But when realization dawned, reaction was close behind. I pulled her hard against me in an embrace that had absolutely nothing to do with leaving, and everything to do with the fact that I'd wanted to be inside of her since the moment I'd first laid eyes on her delicate body, and beautiful eyes.

I kissed her ravenously, angling my head to unhale her completely, meeting and matching her explosion of passion. The sensation of her tongue thrust boldly in to my mouth was completely knee weakening, and I felt us both sway. I pressed her more completely against me, my hands cupping her softly rounded rear end, kissing her harder and harder. She made a low moan in the back of her throat that accurately expressed everything that I was feeling at the exact moment.

She tasted like fire to me, hot and sweet, like my idea of heaven. Her hands slid up over my chest, gripping me tightly as her thigh pressed in to my leg, her message unmistakable. I knew I was gone the moment that I smelled her sweet arousal. I was dead and over with.

It wasn't a question that she asked, but I answered it anyways, whispering against her lips as I panted for the breath I did not need, "yes."

Her kisses were all the invitation I needed to run my hands up under the edge of her tank top, to touch the amazing smoothness of her skin, to gently cup the fullness of her breasts. She again made that soft, sexy noise, pressing herself more completely in to my hand and driving me insane with want.

I pulled her back with me in to the dark shadows, alongside the house. Catching her already taut nipple between my thumb and my forefingerwith one hand, and lifting her up against me with the other, I felt like heaven could exist. It was here, in Buffy's arms, and I had finally died. After centuries of waiting, I had finally died. She spread her legs to me, and I pressed myself between them, fitting the hardness of my arousal against her softness, pressing her back against the hard walls of the house.

"Angelus," she gasped. "Please..."

She reached between us, shocking us both as she unfastened the top button to my pants, unzipping them before I could stop her. Dear Christ, they were outside of her house! But then she touched me. Polite, refined, beautiful-as-perfection Buffy Summers had her hand down my pants in the shadows of the night. Dear God, somebody please pinch me and wake me up. This had to be a dream.

But as she stroked me, caressed me, I knew this was no dream, but quite possible the best reality I'd ever experienced. She was being unabashadly direct about what she wanted, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. When she released me, it was only to attempt to take down her shorts. I pulled back slightly, and stopped her, catching her hands and looking in to her eyes.

"Buffy," I whispered, breathing hard as I gazed at her through the mists of the darkness that surrounded our vision.

"Please Angelus," she whispered, leaning her forehead against my chest. "Can we go inside? Cause I'm doing to..."

Oh yes. I knew.


I closed the door quietly by leaning on it, already tugging at Angelus' shirt to have it off, well aware that he was in the process of removing me from my own. Removing clothing was next to impossible, however, when we kept kissing. But I couldn't break this kiss. I wouldn't. I needed it too much. If I let go of Angelus, there was no telling what might happen. What if he left me?

He wanted her. Now. That was apparent in his actions, and Buffy couldn't help thinking how wine had never tasted as good as it did on Angelus' lips.


I slid my hands over her now-bare chest, filling my hands with the fullness of her. I knew I was touching her with just the right amount of gentle roughness. I broke from her lips at last, granting her a chance to breathe, but not wasting any time in sliding down her body to draw her nipple hungrily into my mouth.

Her shorts were so loose that they fell right off, much like the rest of the clothing they had originally been wearing. Buffy was exquisitely naked before me, but she was getting frantic. She was working herself in to a state of need. Mindless need. I knew, because I was already there. In fact, I'd been there since the moment I first laid eyes on her.


His hands skimmed my body, slightly rough against my skin, touching me everywhere but where I wanted to be touched. His teasing appeal was beginning to aggravate me, and I groaned in frustration, pouting my lips and furrowing my brow. Finally I took control, grabbing his hand and moving it directly between my thighs.

I'd spent quite a bit of time memorizing Angelus' eyes, but when he looked up at me in the darkness, I suddenly felt like I was looking at a stranger from the intensity that was reflected back at me in his gaze. But then he smiled softly to reassure me, and he was Angelus again.

He touched me, softly at first, then harder, deeper, stroking me with just the tip of his finger, his smile fading as he watched my eyes, as he looked down at me, naked in his arms. His touch felt dileriously good, but it still wasn't enough for me. I needed more. I was missing something. I shifted my hips, drawing his finger more completely inside of me, and sighing.

"Angelus, can we..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

He stood then, and led me to the bed. Laying me down gently, his hands stroked over my skin ever so lightly. "I don't want to rush this," he whispered to me, his voice seductive and husky in my ear. His arms held me. It didn't seem possible that arms that big, that powerful, could be so gentle. But he was in no way hurting me with his strong embrace. Merely encouraging my arousal.

I could feel him hard against my thigh as he kissed me again. His mouth was so soft as he kissed my lips, my neck, my breast...

It only took the smallest adjustment of my body, and he slid inside. I was so lost in the sensations of Angelus' touch that when the pain shot through my veins, I barely even reacted. He kept his gaze glued to my own as he slid in with aching slowness. His face was filled with intensity and concern, and I knew he was workign to restrain himself from pounding in to me.

It took me a few moments to realize that he was in all the way, and that he was still, waiting for me to give him some sign that I was okay. I leaned up and kissed him, hoping that he wouldn't make me form actual words to describe what I was feeling and tell him what I wanted. Even though I knew this was all I wanted, I didn't think I'd be able to find the brain power to tell him so.

As we ksised, I felt him draw out of my body, and enter again ever so slowly, ever so gently. The pain was less this time, and I felt the beginning sparks of pleasure as he did it again. And again...And again...


As I kissed Buffy, as I claimed her as my own, I allowed my soul to be damned to Hell for the billionth time since I awoke this morning. I allowed the devil to claim my spirit and all that I was. But then it also felt like something was fighting him back when I stopped protecting myself. I realized then that Buffy was fighting the devil for possession of my soul, and I began to pray to Gods that I had stopped believing in many years ago, that just maybe she would win out.

Gazing down at her beautiful face, watching the display of emotions on her features, I wanted to see her eyes. "Buffy," I whispered, panting heavily. "Buffy, look at me." Her eyes shot open, and the fire in her depths made me soar with excitement. This was divine. This was sacred. This was perfect.

This was Buffy.

The soft noises she made were sexy as Hell, driving me further as she sighed my name in that timid yet scandalously sensual voice of hers. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so...Alive. So real. So natural.

Her smile was tremulous, but it WAS a smile. As she reached up to touch my face, the tears were shining in her eyes as I made sweet love to her. She fought them back. I would have expected no less. She was being strong, despite the amount of emotion passing between us with every stroke.

She was so amazing. So strong. Such a fascinating blend of hard and soft, gentle and harsh. And insecurity. Her beliefs that she was imperfect were perhaps the most perfect thing about her. As I gazed down at her, my chest felt uncomfortably tight. I realized then that I'd fallen in love. I realized then that I would give anything for Buffy Summers. I would die for her again and again, if only to know she existed.

Her inner walls began to flutter then, and she moaned in satisfaction as pleasure began to ripple through her body. I reached between us, pressing lightly against her pleasure to draw out her climax as I joined her in ecstacy.

Through the loud roar of her heart beat, I heard her call out my name in that breathless voice, and my mind shot down to her neck. I leaned down, licking over her throbbing jugular. She seemed to be urging me as she continued to climax, encouraging me, "yes...Yes. Please."

My mind shot in to focus right before my fangs pierced her skin. I hid my face in her shoulder and waited to calm myself as we together drifted down from paradise, to this normal plane of existence where I knew she didn't belong...Much like I didn't belong, but in a different way.

"Buffy," I whispered in to her skin, and felt consciousness receding.

As I slipped in to the darkness, it dawned on me that I was taking her with me, and by now...I was too far gone in our love, to let her go.


Part 4

I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the muted light of the room. Glancing to my left at the night stand, I noticed there wasn't my usual clock and telephone in a basic black, but a yellow clock, and a blue phone. I frowned, where exactly was I? I looked up at the high ceilings, and again I was surprised to see a white dry wall pattern, whereas my own ceiling at home was a dark red in my bedroom.

Glancing next to me, the spot of blonde hair and the rays of feminine elegance and beauty, allowed realization to kick in.


She yawned softly, and snuggled closer to my side. I felt her heart beating so loud in my ear, and her breath was hot against my bare skin.

How could I have let this happen? I told myself that I was walking away from her just last night! That I was going to let her have the sunlight and beauty that she so deserved, not the ebony existence that some could classify as my 'life'.

I felt her struggling to pull herself from the dark reaches of sleep, and she moaned in a sexy way that reminded me slightly of a cat; elegant and graceful. That would be Buffy.

It dawned on me that though I regretted that her first experience of love had been with a demon who'd fallen helplessly in love with her; I wasn't exactly regretting that it was me. But then my mind kicked in to a working frame, and I realized that I wasn't feeling bad about it, because it wasn't something that I regret. How could I regret finding a lover in the most precious gift known to mankind?

But there's always a dark side to my silver lining. What if she is regretting it. I don't think I could honestly bare the thought of Buffy telling me to leave now, and never come back to her. Memories flashed through my mind of the night before. She had given herself to me with such passion, such fire, and such love.

She had wanted everything as much as I had.

No. She wouldn't regret this. I knew I couldn't even fool myself into thinking that she would. She had been explicitly clear that it was what she wanted…What she needed.

She turned on to her back, still staying in full contact with me. Moaning once more, she licked her lips, and I felt myself arouse instantly. How could one movement in the blurred reality of sleep make me so hot for her, so suddenly? She was doing things to me, without even knowing it, that no one had ever done in my long, long existence, and I found that it was the most refreshing change.

"Angelus?" she asked as she furrowed her brow, reaching out for me to hold her.

Without hesitation, I pulled her in to my arms and held her close. Kissing the top of her head, I whispered, "shh. I'm here."

She opened her eyes and looked up at me a little unsurely. "I thought maybe you'd left me. Just left without saying good-bye."

I found myself smiling softly as I replied, "I can't leave you Buffy." My face became serious then as I decided to lay it all out for her to judge me. She had to know why I wanted to leave. "Buffy, I tried to walk away from you, but I can't. I tried to tell myself that you weren't what I needed, but the thing is that I need you more than anything. From the very first moment I saw you, I…I just knew I'd never be the same. Do you understand what I'm saying here, or am I making any sense?"

She smiled through her fresh tears that I could only hope were of happiness. "You're making perfect sense. Because you're so perfect," speaking those words, she leaned forward and kissed me tenderly.

Burying her head in my neck to speak more, she continued, "I never knew I could…Feel that way. That someone could bring up such intense emotions inside of me. I felt like…I've never…Angelus, you gave me more than love last night. I felt like I was embracing what life is really about." She pulled her head back to look me in the eye. "I can't ever live without you now. I want to be with you forever."

Those words stoned me to the spot. I didn't move. I didn't flinch. Forever. Be with me forever. The possibilities that those words brought out of me were endless, yet unthinkable. How could I even contemplate keeping Buffy forever?…But how could I let her go after just one lifetime.

"Buffy," I began. I had to tell her. She had to know who I was. What I was. She couldn't go on thinking that I was a wonderful person filled with beautiful thoughts of white picket fences and colonial homes. She had to know the darkness that embraced my existence. But then, she might just want to leave.

She looked up at me with such trust. Such adoration. "What?" her eyes betrayed her innocence. She was still so sensitive. I couldn't break her heart by telling her that the man she had given herself to, was an evil creature of the night.

"Nothing," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her.

I couldn't tell her yet…

But I would tell her...

I had to tell her…

Before she found out some other way.


Kissing Angelus good bye as he snuck out the front door, I found myself blushing continuously. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that he had done to me the night before. The things he had done to my body. I felt a strange reaction just thinking about it.

Angelus had a power of me. He was able to conjure up feelings and emotions inside of me that made me feel so much deeper, so much more intimate that I believed I ever could be. And then he would go about telling me that it was all me, and that he had nothing to do with the beautiful thoughts coming out of my mind when I thought about him and love.

Rushing upstairs, I fell back on to my bed and smiled. I buried my face in my hands, laughing for some reason. I was feeling so positively joyous about the situation. I was falling in love with someone who desired me in return. Life was too perfect.

This is usually where something bad happens.

Just as I thought that, the phone rang. I looked at it for a moment, trying to figure out why it was ringing. Then I realized, and picked it up.

"Hello?" I answered, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

"Buffy!" Willow's voice shrieked.

"Will?" I asked, wondering why she sounded so freaked out. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Willow assured me instantly. "It's all so right! I'm in love, Buffy!"

I frowned, "Will, when exactly did this happen?"

"Last night. I met someone named Spike. He was asking me a bunch of questions about you. He said he was a friend of your friend. I guess that was just his way of getting to know me, because we totally hit it off!" she sounded so happy.

"Will, what kind of questions was he asking about me?" I asked, suddenly concerned.

"Just weird stuff. Like about your past. Your relationship with your father. He asked a few personal ones. Like if you'd ever been intimate," she sounded a little wigged by that.

"Will, this is very important," I said seriously, my voice calm. "Did he say who this friend of his was? Did he mention a name?"

"Yeah," Willow paused then, sounding a little hesitant to tell me. "What was the name, Will?" I asked.



Part 5

It was around eleven thirty when I crept inside my large home. In my opinion, it looks more like a mausoleum with its dark vibes and eerie statues posted on the front terrace of this gigantic, stone castle. Having been in meetings and interviews all day about the merger with Hank, I hadn't exactly had the time to think about last night. But Buffy was on my mind the entire time.

Waving a hand at my security guard in mild acknowledgement, I stepped inside and dropped my jacket to the table next to the front doors. Sighing, I put my hands in my pockets and looked up at the ceiling. It was carved with angels and Celtic designs. It truly was a work of art, and I wondered briefly why I ever bothered to buy a home that was so beautifully wasted on me?

I heard something in the back reaches of my mind, and turned my head to look to the left to see who had intruded upon my home.

There was Buffy.

I began to smile, but stopped myself when I detected her hostility, and her anger. What was wrong? Had she found out from someone? No, that can't be it. No one knows.

"Buffy?" I begin, slight confusion narrowing my features. "What's wrong? What are you doing here?"

"Am I a person?" she asked me, her voice shaking as she tried to control her anger. "Tell me, Angelus. Am I a God Damned person, or not?!"

I calmed myself as I realized just how angry she was. I couldn't think of anything to say in response to that, that wouldn't sound completely lame, so I replied with a solemn mask, "yes."

She shut her eyes as tears formed. But she fought them back and opened her eyes once more. I could see her so well in the pale moonlight that filtered through the windows. She was so hurt by something. Was it something I'd done.

"So tell me," she started, her voice sounding almost pained. "Tell me why I can't be treated like one." At my lack of response, she continued in a louder voice, "Tell me why I can't be treated like a fucking human being, Angelus! With some damn respect!"

I knew all of a sudden, that she'd found out something I hadn't intended for her to find out. During the first few days that I met Buffy, I had asked a few people some questions about her, and being the likable being that I am, these people were all too happy to ensure that they could answer my questions in full. I realized though, that I had forgotten to tell William not to ask around any more. IN my loss of mind with my passion for Buffy, I'd completely disregarded my plans.

Bad move.

"I know, you know what I'm talking about." Buffy took a step towards me. "You had someone ask my BEST FRIEND, if I'd ever been intimate with someone. Angelus, do you even know how much that hurts me? To find out that you'd be so cruel? It hurts more than anything you could have said or done. You invaded my privacy. You invaded my LIFE." Then, in a shaky voice as the tears began to fall, she whispered, "and you invaded my heart."

She looked to me, her expression full of pain, "can't you see how much that hurts me?"

"Buffy, I never wanted to hurt you," I stepped forward, but she stepped back. I took a breath that I didn't mean, and tried again. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted to know. I wanted to know about you. I HAD to know."

"So why didn't you ASK me!" she was begging me for an answer that I couldn't give, and it broke what was left of the soul that I had tortured for so many years. "Why didn't you just ask me, if you had a question? I would have told you anything you wanted to know. I mean…" She wiped at her tears, trying to pull herself together. "I mean, what kind of a man are you?"

Suddenly I realized I had to tell her. Better to get the pain over with now then to wait and break her again and again with every shameful secret of every shameful past in my soul.

"I'm not a man."

She furrowed her brow and managed to ask, "W-what?"

"I'm not a man, Buffy. I look like one. I talk like one. I act like one. But I'm not a man, Buffy. I'm nothing like you. I don't have pretty little visions of children and sunshine, because I can't. I'm not human. I haven't been for a very long time." There. I said it. Now to watch her explode.

But the fireworks never came.

Buffy stepped back to the wall, and leaned against it for support. "Oh my God," she breathed under her breath. "I knew it. I knew there was something." She shut her eyes as the tears fell now, of their own will and power.

"Buffy, this doesn't change a thing about how I feel for you. So I was too coward to ask you myself some of those things that I just HAD to know. But that doesn't mean I don't care for you," I found myself trying to justify aloud, what I had done. But there were things to come, that I could never justify.

I could never make her see everything.

"So what are you?" she opened her eyes, looking at me like I'd just destroyed every hope she had, and every dream she'd spent so long planning. "What are you?"

I straightened my back again. I looked down at my hands as I nervously played with my Claddagh ring. Shit, why was I so nervous? I haven't been nervous in over two hundred years! "It's not important," I could only hope that she would take that answer and settle.

But of course she didn't. "No, that's not what I said. I want to know what the Hell you are!" she stepped up to me, and I found I had to work to keep myself from cowering back from the intense look in her eyes. "I want to know what I've fallen for, if it's not an angel. I want to know what kind of devil-loving, cradle-robbing, man-hating, respect-dismissing ass-hole I've allowed myself to love!"

"You don't need to though," I tried to reason with her.

But Buffy would have none of it. She sighed, "Angel…Just tell me, okay? Just tell me what you are…WHO you are. I just want to know the truth."

I was tempted to quote the famous line 'you want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!' But I refrained and with one last glance at my sanity, I leapt, replying, "I'm a vampire."

She looked at me for a moment with an unreadable expression. Then she scoffed, "a vampire?" She laughed once. "A vampire?" She looked away from me as new tears formed. When she looked back, she was almost giggling. "You meant to tell me I've fallen in love with someone who sucks necks to stay alive?" She started laughing then, "well, Angelus! That makes me feel really good about my abilities in the bed!" She continued to laugh. "But seeing as how you've probably had WAY worse over the years, I supposed I shouldn't feel all that bad."

"Buffy, I've never felt anything like what I feel with you," I confessed. I was slightly unnerved by the way she was reacting to my secret. She seemed to be taking it along with a few thousand emotions of hysterics. This was probably bad. This usually meant that she'll explode in to a fit of rage any second now.

But Buffy never was one for following the pack.

"So, you're a vampire," she calmed her laughter and started sorting things out. "You're a vampire who kills. You meet me. You can't resist me," she rolled her eyes half way. "And so you have people ask around to see if I've ever given head or shit like that. Then you make me feel things I've damn sure never felt before…And then you tell me the truth-but only when I force you to. I just have one question Angelus, or whoever you are."

I didn't say anything. My eyes had darkened as she tore up everything we'd had, and everything we'd done and made it seem so small and inferior to passions of lovers past.

"Did I ever mean a damn thing to you?" she finally asked, her voice breaking for the billionth time.

It was at this point, where I rushed to her. I pulled her into my arms, devouring her lips before she had a chance to think and pull back. Now that she knew, and now that I knew she cared-there was no way that I could let her go. I'd fallen for her, and damn it may be selfish, but there's nothing left now, that could keep me from her side.

She's mine…For eternity.


Looking at Angelus as he confessed had strengthened my resolve. Now, all I knew was that despite his past, his life-I wanted him. I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life, and there was no way I was giving him up.

He tasted so dark. I allowed myself to feel the darkness, and I found that as long as it was Angelus-I didn't particularly mind it. It suited him so well. He was beautiful, yet dark. Such a dark angel. A dark God.

Whoever thought an angel could bring ebony to me?

I kissed him back with a passion that surprised even me. My entire body was like ice, melting beneath the touch of this bright angel. I felt the wetness of my melted core pooling at the pit of me, and I moved closer to him, somehow knowing that the closer I got, the better I'd feel. And if last night went to show for anything, I knew that I was going to feel a LOT better.

"Angelus," I gasped as he finally released my lips, tilted my head back to lick and nip his way down my neck. I tightened my grip around his neck and sighed again. This wasn't exactly what I had planned to do this evening, but it was turning out in a much more interesting fashion, in my opinion.

Before I knew it, he had me backed against the wall. Reaching my hand down-unashamed of my actions-I gripped him through the material of his pants. He was as ready as I was. Oh God, please just let him take me now...

He growled as I squeezed him, perhaps in anticipation, or perhaps because he was trying to excercise some form of control and he was rapidly losing it with every breathy moan I made, and every flicker of my wrist against the base of his arousal.

His left hand pinched and twisted my nipple until it was a tight peak, and I felt like coming on the spot as he licked at my neck. His free hand travelled down, over my ribs and my stomach, to the base of my thigh. He slid the material of my knee-length skirt up with a soothing gracefulness that I knew was unique and all his own. No one else was this beautiful when making love.

Though I had no experience to compare him with...I found I just knew.

His lips burned a trail back up to mine as his fingers found my center, and pushed aside my lace thong. He slid one digit inside of me, and the moan of satisfaction that we both let out was so intense that it caused the butterfly nerves in my stomach to twitch again at an even more alarming rate than before.

God, he was driving me insane!

Nipping on his bottom lip as I lifted myself to follow the pace of his fingers, I felt the world coming all around me. How could he make me so hot, so fast? It was completely unfair to display such control over me. But then again, he was just showing the truth. He was the ultimate ruler of my body. There would never be another after him. There would never be a time when he wouldn't be here for me. I had to have him in my life…In my heart…Forever.

Forcing me to my first peak, I released myself from his kiss and let out a cry of his name. He growled appreciatively in to my neck, licking again at my skin.

"God, more!" I gasped. "Please. I need you Angelus. Just…Please." I knew what I was saying wasn't coherent, but I also knew that he was getting the message.

Pulling his fingers from me, I heard the sound of a zipper as Angelus freed his hard arousal, and lifted me on to his hips. Pushing me back against the wall, he impaled me with one thrust, making me climax for the second time with the sheer force of his arousal and desire. I screamed, ripping his shirt open as I orgasm for him with an intense passion.

He settled in to me with a brutal rhythm that might have frightened me if it wasn't Angelus. He was so tender, even in his darkest moments, and I somehow just knew that it was impossible for him to hurt me.

Kissing me hard, his hands ripped open my halter much the same as his shirt. Breaking the kiss, he looked in to my eyes. I let out a faint smile, and then shut my eyes again as the pleasure increased ten-fold with his next thrust…And his next…Again, and again.

He leaned forward and latched on to one of my nipples, tonguing it with an endless passion for making me feel as complete as I could in his arms. Oh God, the things he did to me! With one hand on my ass, pulling me in to every thrust, he slid his free fingers of my thighs and in to my center. Flicking over my bud with practiced, polished ease, I found myself once again at the edge.

With one more thrust, one more lick, and one more flick; I was over. I screamed, clenching all around him. He joined me in orgasm, and I reveled in the feel of him coming inside of me…Filling me with the very essence of his being.

Settling in to the aftermath, I sighed. I opened my eyes to see he watching me intently. "Buffy?" he whispered, not being too loud so he wouldn't disrupt the peaceful silence.

The golden period of the 'after'.

"Hmm?" I smiled, feeling light headed and dizzy.

"I can't ever let you go now. You know that, right?" He was completely sincere.

I smiled, shutting my eyes again as I leaned my head back against the wall. "Yeah," I admitted. "I know."


Part 6

Holding Buffy; I held everything. I watched her as she slept, held safely in the arms of peaceful dreams of a world that I could only hope she would want me in for the rest of forever, with her. Every moment I was near to her, was like a taste of the heaven that I had never thought my tongue could feel. She made me think in ways that I had never felt the need to think. It was as if, with Buffy by my side...I could have hope for something more than my eternal darkness. I could have hope for love.

For life.

So how could I live without her now? The question of my immortality.-My changelessness.-Is always on my mind.

How will she honestly want to deal with it now that she knows? Will she tell me we can be together until the day she dies? Will she let me bring her in to the land of immortal life? Will she ask then that all of her family join us in kind, so that she won't have to watch everyone she loves...cares about, die off like a species?

Like I had to?

I could never wish that on her. I care for her too much to wish such a pain, such a cruel world upon her beautiful shoulders.

The most painful thing in all of this universe and beyond, is to watch the world you love: fade and die in to a new world. Then, when you grasp that new world and learn to love it: you must watch it fade and die once again, never allowing you a moment's rest of satisfaction and peace. You must eternally be ready for every moment of piece and joy, to simply end. How could I tell Buffy that?

But more importantly than all of this is...Would I allow myself to take the light of this precious glow that she is?

Stealing Buffy to the night would be so simple, so easy, and I knew she wouldn't object. But then there would be the Aftermath of my actions. She would have to live without children, without sun, and without the warmth that I so adore about her.

She stirred beside me, and I pulled her closer, whispering sweet promises of an eternity filled with love, in her ear. I knew I could never let her go, but I knew that it would be the hardest action of my existence to keep her. Worse than admitting to her who I was, and how desperately I needed her by my side. The guilt that was weighing me down brought out the deep, brooding side to my conscience that I fought so hard not to show when I was around her.

Buffy did this to me. She made me feel.

Blinking her eyes to force herself to the surface of consciousness, she looked up at me. "Where are we?" she asked in a soft, hesitant voice.

"I moved us to the bedroom when you fell asleep," I told her, kissing her forehead with a soft kiss that I hoped she could read the promise in.


I shut my eyes to savour the feeling of his lips pressed tenderly to my skin. It was so amazing to feel Angelus-such a strong, dark creature-kissing me with such love and adoration. For the millionth time since I met him, I wondered how I'd lived for so long without him. How did I get from day to day without him there for me?

His arms were so warm around me, despite how cold he really was. So strong and warm. So safe. She felt so protected when she was with Angelus. It was like nothing else she'd ever felt with her high-walled security and guards back home. This was true safety. Passionate and all-consuming love fueled his desire to keep her safe. I knew he'd never let anyone harm me...Not even himself. No, ESPECIALLY not himself.

I could do nothing but cling to him, and hope to God that he never let me go.

Somehow sensing what I was thinking, he pushed my hair back from my face, running his fingers through it again and again. The sensation was so dizzying. He smelled so familiar, and his arms felt so much like being home. How could they ever part now that she knew what perfection felt like? What desire was? I suddenly wanted to cry at the thought that I could ever be without him.

"You're shaking," he whispered in my ear, kissing my love gently. All I could do in response was nod. "Tell me what to do. I'll do anything to make it right, Buffy."

Those words made my soul sing. I looked up at him, biting my lip to keep it from trembling, and at the same time remind him that it was there to be kissed. "Stay with me. Stay with me forever." My voice broke as I asked him. No-not asked. Begged. I'm strong. I know I'm strong. But my love for him is so much stronger. So I would beg him if I had to. "Stay with me forever. And kiss me."

That was all it took to convince him.

The moonlight made the bedroom silvery and bright. I could see his face so clearly, and I knew it was the same for him. He could see me anywhere. The light from the window shone down on the bed like a spotlight, illuminating their movements as I trailed my hands down his hips. He raised himself up on to his forearms, pressing a tender kiss to my brow and smiling when I sighed in contentment.

Rolling this time, he moved so that I straddled him. I was wet instantly, as if I had never fully recovered from the heights of passion he brought to me just hours before. This new position he placed me in, unnerved me for a moment, but only for a moment. Being with Angelus, I trusted him completely. He'd never make me do anything I wouldn't find pleasure in. He'd never let me feel pain. So as his hands lifted my hips with aching tenderness, I smiled down at him.

I felt so possessed as his hands held my flesh so securely, sliding me down on his steel-hard erection with gentle ease. His barely-audable moan sounded quietly in my ear, and I smiled at the proof of his desire for me. This joining was so perfect-so natural-that it brought the tears back to my eyes again.

As he guided my rhythm, rising and falling with a tender stride, he sat up, pulling me closer. I kissed him again; roughly. I knew there was no possibility that I could feel shame or humility for behaving like such a wanton with Angelus, so I allowed my needy side free reign over my attitude and character, and he smiled appreciatively.

Angelus groaned as he moved beneath me, as close to his own release as I was to mine. As I looked down into his eyes, as I watched the emotions play across his face; I knew this was the only thing I wanted. This was what my idea of eternity in Heaven had been.

My mind, knowing that rationalization wouldn't give this much concentration, added the thought: This is what you can have, if you give up your life.

Angelus reached between us, touching me, sending me over the edge as he gazed into my eyes. I kept my eyes open and let him see everything that I was feeling, the sweet intensity of the pleasure he gave me, the limitless passion I had for him, the strength of our love. I didn't have to say the words, for they were there in my eyes for him to see if he wanted to. He could know if he looked.

And he looked.

I'd never thought that I would fall in love like this. I'd always thought there were two types of love. The first kind, where you grew exceptionally fond of someone, and allowed yourself to marry them and build a life and a family. Then there was the love I'd never thought I'd have the luck to feel. This love fueled your every desire, your every wish. This was a love that would steal me away like a dream-taking me where it wanted to go, and not where I thought was right.

His own release followed immediatly as he continued to push in to me, drawing out every pleasure from every nerve ending three times over.

I found that for a moment, I blacked out, and when I opened my eyes again, I was no longer straddling his waist, but laying next to him. His hand was stroking over me tenderly, possessively, fueling the knowledge that he loved me as deeply and obsessively as I was loving him.

He was still hard for me, but he made no move to sate himself. He was so tender in his actions, that I had no doubt that his own pleasure was second to mine, in his eyes.

But that was just Angelus. He cared for me, and no one else. If I wasn't careful, I knew that could create an extremely dangerous man.


"Where do we go from here?" she asked me, her eyes watching me closely to read and detect my every movement.

I thought a moment. What should I say? Should I suggest my plans? Should I ask her how she would feel about eterntiy? How could I drop this brick of information in to her mind, without making her fear it?

"We go to eternity," I finally whispered, shutting my eyes against her skin in a silent prayer that she wouldn't laugh or reject me. In over two hundred years, I hadn't felt fear of rejection, but now here it was...Laughing at me as it lingered throughout every fibre of my being. Mocking me.

But Buffy chased it away with a tender smile, "but what should I pack?"

I wanted to smile, and hug her, and kiss her, but I had to know if she was serious. If she truly wanted my dark existence as her own. "Buffy, immortality is...Painful. Not just the act, but the life. You can't have the joy of simply knowing your world, because what you think is your world-can be taken from you in a second and replaced by a new era. Nothing stays the same except you."

"What about love?" she asked seriously. "Would your love fade after a year? Adecade? A century? A millenium? After I make this choice, would there ever be a time when you wouldn't want me? I mean, how can I know for sure that you've never done this before? In some other life time."

"I've never known love," I told her. "But I'm loving you so much that I can't imagine ever letting myself lose you to time."

She smiled, tears glistening behind her eyes. "I trust you. I want to be with you...But what about..." She trailed off as she broke eye contact with me.

I knew what she was thinking of. "Your family," I finished for her, my gaze darkening. My mood changing.

"How would they ever understand?" she asked.

"They won't," I surprised her with my answer. I knew she wanted reassurance that they would, but I couldn't hide the truth from her with a candy glaze...As much as I'd like to. "Buffy, no one can ever understand...Because they can never know. What I am...It's not something people can just accept. If there's one thing that I've learned in my long existence, it's this...People reject the unfamiliar. The things they can't understand immediatly. That's just the way they are."

I took her hand, and traced my fingers over her knuckles. "Buffy, if you chose to stay with me, you know I'd love you forever. Even when the earth stops spinning. I'll never stop. But your friends, your family...They can't understand that. Everything eventually leaves you in this world. Everything dies. The only thing I can promise you with all of my soul...Is that I won't." I looked in to her eyes, kissing her hand tenderly.

I saw that she understood. Her fear and uncertainty were still there, but they were disguised with her trust. Her peace with the answer. It seemed that she could comprehend the situation without the predisposition that most people in her position would carry to reject the offer of eternal life.

"We'd have to leave, wouldn't we?" she spoke with understanding.

It wasn't a question, really, but I answered it as if it was. "Yes." I took a moment to think of how to talk through this. "Buffy, if you accepted my existence, and your father found out about it...About me...He'd want me dead, and he'd go to great lengths to attempt to restore what you used to be. I'd be gone, you'd be empty, and no one would look at you like you were just the same old Buffy. I know you love your family, your friends...But you'd be leaving them behind if you and I were together. I can't take the chance of having you, and losing you. I'd rather die."

"I'll go with you anywhere," she confessed. "Anywhere you are, is where I want to be."

"But?" I prompted. There was always a But.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I need to know a few things about my life...About me. Before I go giving it up. I'm not asking you to wait, Angelus," as she spoke I stiffened.

She thought I'd leave her? Crazy.

But then she added, "I'm TELLing you to wait. Don't take me yet. Just stay with me. Let me have this now. We'll worry about the future when we get to it. Is that a reasonable suggestion, or not? Cause if you think it's not right-then I'll go with you right now and I won't look back. I swear I will."

I smiled softly. "I'd wait forever for you, Buffy..." Then I added truthfully. "But I don't know if I can. I might have to take you sooner than you're ready. I'm sorry, but...Now that I've accepted my selfish wants, I can't ignore them."

"All I want is you."

Her eyes didn't show surprise. In a way, I think she was expecting it.

But would she accept it?


"What do you mean?" I asked, despite the fact that I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Take me? How? What are you talking about, Angelus?" I turned so that I could look him straight in the eye.

"Buffy, I've been solemn and misunderstood for over two hundred years. Meeting you has changed everything. I don't think I can wait, to have you as my own. I need to be all you have. I need to be your everything," he told me.

"You are!" I protested.

"Not like that," he said, shaking his head. "Your friends, your family...They don't care about you like I do, Buffy. When you see that, you'll understand what I need to be to you. I'm going to be all you have one day, Buffy Summers. And I can't wait for that day to come. I can't just wait for it. I need it now."

My eyes widened. "Are you telling me that if I told you to wait-you wouldn't? You'd kidnap me? Take me as your...Your...Love slave? Your prisoner?" When he said nothing, I gathered the sheets around my chest and sat up. Avoiding his gaze, I continued, "Angelus, I have a family! I have a life! I love you, but I want my life too. If I didn't have so many people-so many things in my life, that I love so much, it would be different. But I do." I turned to look at him. He laid there, looking as beautiful as any creature could look-from the night or the day. "I have things keeping me here."

He held out his arms to me then, and with the knowledge that I'd gotten through, I went to him. I cuddled in to his chest, and as his hands stroked over my back, I heard him whisper his response.

"Not for long."


Part 7

It was around seven thirty when I finally got back home. I walked in the huge front doors and looked around for any signs of life. My parents won't be home until the day after tomorrow, but Marie and Lacey are usually up this early. That's when I heard a voice coming from the parlour.

"Hello?" I called with a frown. Who would be up so soon, using my father's private phone in the study? That was his phone. I'm not even allowed to use it.

Lacey and Marie know better, don't they?

I crept around the side of the wall, and peaked in to the parlour. There, sitting at his desk was my father. He was on the phone, laughing and talking like the rest of the world didn't exist to him. I stepped out in to the doorway to get his attention. He waved once at me, and that was it. He had said his hellos, so obviously I was dismissed to leave.

I sighed and turned to go, but before I could take a step away, he got off his phone and called me back. "Buffy, darling, do come here!"

I turned again and looked at him curiously. Don't tell me he actually wants to talk to me! "Hello. How was your trip?" I asked, trying to sound polite. I didn't want my shock to come out in my voice.

"Dull, as usual, sweetheart. Please come take a seat," he motioned to a chair, and went to sit on the desk next to it. I sat down and looked up at him. He didn't sound or look mad, so I guessed everything was fine and I wasn't in trouble...But then again with my father, you can never be too sure when he's going to blow up at you and want your head hanging on his wall in the den.

He smiled down at me, "Buffy, darling, you'll never believe who I saw as I was having cocktails in the country club yesterday. You know the place on Paradise Island?" I nodded and asked in a rather shaky, awkward manner, "who?"

He smiled, "I met up with Frank Finn. You know his son Riley. You went to Kindergarten together. Do you remember?"

"Dad, I went to school with Riley in grade eight. I didn't go to kindergarten." I pointed out, looking down and letting my voice to quieten with my sadness. Why couldn't my father just be there for me like any normal father is supposed to be? Like on those TV channels that show him as a wonderful 9 to 5 husband that kisses his wife and kids good-bye every day before going to work and NOT cheating on his wife?

"Oh," he thought for a moment and then shrugged. With a big smile he continued, "it doesn't matter anyways. As I was saying, I met up with Frank Finn. And we began discussing Riley and you. And I think, that it is high-time that you two come to meet again."

"Dad, he goes to my school. I see him all the time!" I tried to point out.

"Not like this, Buffy. Frank and I think it would be the most wonderful fit if you and Riley were together. In fact, we've arranged a dinner party for tonight."

"Tonight?!" I asked in shock. I was supposed to go see Angelus tonight! But I soon learned that the traumas were to get way worse...

"I have invited the Finns. Craig and Mary. Jack Simmons from the country club. And I thought Angelus would be happy to join us. Perhaps he can help to persuade you in to Riley's arms," my father winked at me and I suddenly wanted to be sick.

Oh God, there was no way it could get any worse than this.

But it could.

Oh yes, it certainly could.


I was forced from my room at seven thirty by Lacey, for dinner. She told me that I had to face things as they were and deal with them. I considered this briefly and thought that maybe I should just tell everyone I'm sleeping with a vampire. Hell, it's not like they'd pay that much attention to me. They probably wouldn't even hear me. It would be fun, for a change, to just say whatever I want.

I tried to dress in a way that I knew Riley hated, so that he wouldn't want anything from me; like holding hands or other pathetic forms of childish affection along those lines. I wore green; Riley hates green. It was an emerald-coloured dress that hugged my waist and hips, but draped slightly at the front so that the cleavage area wasn't tight. I knew Riley liked to be able to see the outline of women completely. Well, he sure as Hell wouldn't be seeing mine tonight!...Or ever!

Taking my time going downstairs, I took a deep breath before entering the dining hall. Well, here went everything!

The first person I saw was Angelus. I smiled at him, but stopped abruptly when my father came to my side. “Buffy, darling!” he exclaimed like he actually knew me. “So good of you to join us on time! You remember Riley Finn?” he motioned towards Riley, who turned to look at me and inwardly cringed at the colour of my dress.

Success! He hates it!

“Hey Riley,” I attempted a smile. “Did you get the English homework? I forgot to do it. Maybe I can copy yours?”

Everyone stayed silent, until my father took it upon himself to smooth the air. “Oh she’s such a kidder! Buffy darling, you’re to die for!”

I looked at Angelus as my father said this in a loud voice, and the dark look in his eyes was enough to tell me exactly what he was thinking about right now.

“Riley, perhaps you could help Buffy to her seat? Angelus! Why don’t you take the seat across from Buffy?” My father began directing people to their seats.

No! Don’t put Angelus right across from Riley! He’ll kill him! (Not that I’d particularly care all that much if Riley Finn ceased to exist, but I didn’t want to have to go to the trouble of visiting Angelus in jail for the next twenty five years)

Still, the seating plans were final, and Riley helped me to my seat, pushing in to the chair behind me, a little more than necessary. Oh God, tell me this isn’t going to continue all damn night! I can’t stand the idea of dirty Riley Finn leaning into me.


There was a pause in dinner conversation, so I asked the boy that I’d affectionately come to inwardly call ‘Bitch Boy’, “Riley, what do you plan to do for your career? What are your plans after high school?”

“Well, I want to take over my uncle’s fishing company when he retires in two years. I really like fish, so it’s something I want to do,” he looked a little over-ambitious about his trout farming. “Other than that, I plan to have a home in Palm Beach, a flat in New York, and everything I want to spoil my darling little wife, who will undoubtedly be none other than Buffy, herself,” he smiled over at Buffy then.

“Really?” I ground my teeth together, trying to keep my vampiric visage from making an appearance. “How long have you had the plan to marry Buffy?”

I could see Buffy tensing up and praying that I dropped it, but I wasn’t going to be controlled by her fear of embarrassing her father. I wanted this boy to speak now, before I ripped his head off. He deserved some last words…Well, maybe he didn’t.

“We’ve had these plans for years now,” he smiled at Buffy, who looked at him like he was diseased. He probably was diseased with something. “In fact…” he looked to his ugly Tom Hanks look-a-like father then. “Father, should I do it now?”

Should he what?

“Go ahead, son,” his father beamed, nodding his approval.

Riley stood up, pushing his chair back. He turned to face Buffy, and she watched him closely to see what he was going to do. Then he did the unthinkable…

He got down on one knee.


Oh fuck!

Please God. Help me out here! Please make him get off his knees! Please make him get off his knees! Please don’t let him propose to me!

Somebody help me!


I couldn’t help a growl from escaping my chest as he took Buffy’s hand.

He looked deeply into her eyes then. “Buffy, you and I will be a perfect match, if you’ll be mine. We can rule the shipping and fishing world together. You can be my Fish Queen. Marry me?”

Buffy couldn’t contain it any longer. She burst out laughing.

I, however, felt the extreme need to rip Riley Finn from limb to limb. I lifted my napkin from my lap and stood up. “Fuck this,” I said under my breath. Everyone looked at me then, and Buffy stopped laughing long enough to hear what I had to say.

“Ladies and Gentleman of the fishing and shipping industry!” I began my speech. “May I have your attention for a moment? Yes? Good. It has come to my attention that I want to kill all of you. Except Buffy, that is. She and I are leaving now. We're going to get married soon. You’ll definitely never see her again, so take one good last look at her.”


My jaw dropped at Angelus’ speech.

Oh Boy. My dad is gonna to flip.


“How dare you!” Hank stood up. “You may not take my daughter! She is my property, and she is going to marry Riley! I suggest you leave now, Angelus. Before I have you thrown out and destroyed!”

I looked at him and smiled at the humorous display of manliness he was trying to pull off. “Hank?” I ventured, and waited a moment before adding, “bite me.”

That was it.

I flipped the large dinner table across the room, with a burst of anger-fueled strength. Everyone jumped back from the table and cowered against the walls. Riley ran from the room, like the pansie-ass he was. But wait! I thought he wanted Buffy to be his fish queen? He sort of forgot to take her with him then. I almost started laughing.

“Now, Hank, I’d hate to have to kill you or worse…Destroy your reputation…So I suggest you let Buffy and I go quietly now. “ I didn’t break my eye contact from Buffy, who had began to quake in fear of the anger I was showing. I could feel the fear coursing through her veins. “Buffy,” I offered my hand, and when she hesitated, I went towards her and took her hand.

Breaking my eye-contact with Buffy, I smiled politely one last time at the terrified crowd of snobs. “Good-bye all!”

With that, I guided a shocked Buffy from the room.


Part 8

I ushered Buffy into the waiting limousine, and then informed her that I’d be back in two minutes. She was in a state of shock, so she didn’t think to question where I was going as I slid off into the dark to take care of these problems once and for all.

It was easy to split the brake cables on Fish boy’s Mercedes when he went inside to get the keys that he’d left behind in his mad panic to get away and abandon the scene that I presented earlier. It was even easier to make the quick phone call on his car phone to William.

“Will?” I asked, hoping he was the one to answer.

“Yeah, mate,” came his heavily-accented voice. “What’s up?”

“Need you to do me a favor,” I said, casting my gaze towards the limousine that currently harbored everything in the world that mattered to me.


It dawned on me that escaping with her meant pulling her into my eternal darkness forever. For surely once I had spent a week with her just the two of us, I’d never find it in me to let her go. My only problem now was her willingness to believe that her friends and family cared for her at all the way that I do. But as I know, that’s easy to handle. All I have to do is weaken, and then destroy them in every essence of the word. If someone is dead, they can’t possibly love someone living…I, of course, am the immediate exception to that rule, I rush to remind you.

My real dilemma comes not with the murdering, for I have enough blood on my hands and I don’t care too much if blood is added from these rich snobs. No, my dilemma comes to making sure that Buffy doesn’t find out, and that her living friends don’t interfere. If they do…Well, the funeral home will have a little more business. I just can’t allow them to make Buffy wary of me.

Like I’ve said a thousand times, I need her light in my darkness. I never thought I did before. But now I see that I do…And I always have.


Let me just say, that I had no clue that this was going to happen. When Angelus said that he and I were ‘leaving’…I really had no clue he meant it to this extent. But nonetheless, I find myself now, on a plane headed for Canada.


What the Hell am I going to do in Canada? Angelus assures me that we’ll find something to amuse ourselves in the peaceful country, but my mind keeps telling me that the only thing to do in Canada is drink beer and play hockey. And I’d just like to state for the record, that I don’t know the first thing about either of those subjects.

However, Angelus seems to think that I’ll enjoy myself in the mosquito capital of the world, so I trust him. Oddly enough, I trust the man that just tore me from my home and told my entire family to go to Hell, eat shit, and die. Strangely, it would probably be in that order that these vicious acts would be committed.

“Angelus?” I asked warily. He hadn’t said much since we left my place, and I was starting to worry that perhaps he was inwardly cursing himself for embarking on a trip of this caliber with someone who can’t exactly drive a car without crying. But when he turned to look at me in answer to my quest for some sort of reaction from him; all of my doubts just disappeared. He smiled, and lifted my hand to his lips for a tender and loving kiss. My heart melted to him.

“I’m not regretting anything,” he told me as if reading my thoughts. Damn I hated that he could do that…But then again it made things so much easier when I didn’t have to say what I was thinking, or fearing. “I love you Buffy, and we’re going to be together. No matter what. Understand?”

I smiled faintly, and nodded my head to show that I understood, although inwardly I still had mild doubts that he’d want me after the first week of our adventure together. I just wish he would tell me his entire plan for this trip. Did he really want to get married to me? Or was he just interested in keeping me his for a while? Was he talking about forever? Turning me?

Just then, my phone rang. I can’t believe I forgot to turn it off! That means we can be traced! Damn it Buffy, you’re always doing the dumb things. I pulled it out of my handbag, and looked down at it. The caller wasn’t my father, thankfully. But Willow. Oh thank God! So my father hasn’t traced me yet…yet.

“You can answer it,” Angelus chuckled softly, knocking me from my thoughts. It dawned on me then that I’d been staring at the phone as it rang three times… and then four… and five… and six times.

“Oh,” I clicked it open and took a deep breath. Being on first class in the middle of the flight, meant that I was allowed to use my cell phone. Thank God for that. I held it up to my ear and answered, “hello?”

“Buffy!” Came Willow’s frantic voice. “Oh thank God you’re alright! Where are you? What did Angelus do to your dad?”

“What do you mean?” I was already confused. “Angelus didn’t do anything. He just told my dad to go to Hell when Riley tried to propose, and then we took off.”

“Riley tried to propose?” Willow was shocked. But she cut me off before I had the chance to reply, “Listen, it doesn’t matter. Tell me what Angelus did, because Riley is in the hospital, and your dad’s place just exploded into flames. Um…Go somewhere private so we can talk.”

All of the blood rushed from my head. I looked over at Angelus, who was acting as if he didn’t notice anything that was happening. “Excuse me,” I stood up and scooted past him. By way of explanation I said, “bathroom.” I went as fast as I could while still looking normal to Angelus and the rest of the passengers on my flight. Once inside the bathroom, I asked, “Willow are you sure?”

“Yes, Buffy,” she sighed. “I’m looking out my window right now. I can see the flames coming from the explosion. And I just got a call from your dad’s assistant Marianne, asking if I know where you are, and telling me to tell you what’s going on in case I happen to talk to you.”

“Is everyone okay?” I asked, hot worry streaking through my veins with nothing to freeze it’s course.

“Apparently,” Willow said quietly. “Riley’s in surgery right now. His brakes were cut, and his gas line was snapped so there was a huge explosion. And your dad is unconscious. Your mom’s fine. Mr. and Mrs. Finn got out without a scratch. Buffy, everyone knows Angelus did this. I’m serious. You need to get away from him right now. He’s dangerous.”

“Not to me, Wil! And how do we even know that Angelus did this? I mean, he’s been with me the entire time, so he couldn’t possibly have had the time to pull off an intense murder plot. The only time he wasn’t with me was when…” I trailed off as I remembered the few minutes when he first took my from my father’s house, when Angelus hadn’t been with me. No! It can’t be. He wouldn’t…would he?

It didn’t seem so impossible when I remembered what he’d said when I told him I had priorities to keep me with my family. He’d said…“Not for long…” Oh dear Lord, tell me he didn’t do this.


It’s a damn shame, really. I was hoping to leave the innocent read head alive. But I guess I should have known that innocence leads to concern for your ‘best friend’…Although technically Willow’s no best friend. She made out with that boy Scott when Buffy dated him temporarily.

Yes, I know all their little secrets. That’s what being a vampire of the darkness, is all about. Secrets. You have them. I know them. I harbor them until I need them to make something go my way. It may sound childish or selfish, but really it’s not. In my opinion, children that blackmail each other aren’t immature, they’re way ahead of their game! They shouldn’t change their ways, because those ways are going to get them just what they want…No matter what the cost.

Which leads me back to my phone. I dialed William quickly, and spoke briefly. I had a certain respect for the redhead because she seemed generally sweet and kind…However, that doesn’t excuse her messing with my mate and I’s life. So a quick call to Will, and she’ll be gone.

It’s just a damn shame, like I said, that it had to come to this.


There was a knock on the door then, and Angelus asked, “Buffy, are you alright?” My eyes widened in horror.

“Willow, listen to me. I don’t know what’s going on, but be careful, okay? If anything happens, call me and let me know. I’ll keep my cell phone on no matter what. Just make sure you call me if anything happens.”

“I promise, Buffy,” she assured me. “Be careful.”

“I will,” I said, just as Angelus banged on the door again, a little more forcefully this time. “Buffy!” he called through, his voice picking up a hint of edge to it that showed he wasn’t happy about being kept waiting. “Buffy, open the door dammit!” I clicked off the phone just as Angelus broke the door open.

Seeing me, he let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God,” he whispered, stepping into the bathroom and pulling me into his arms. “I thought maybe something was wrong when you didn’t answer me.”

I attempted a brave smile. “Why would anything be wrong?”

He shut the broken door and latched it, then turned back to me. “That’s what I was wondering,” he smiled, a genuine smile that I rarely ever saw from my dark lover. He stepped forward, pushing up against me in the limited space of the washroom. True, first class washrooms are a lot bigger than coach stalls. But also true, Angelus is an extremely large man…Even if at the base of it, he’s not entirely a man.

It was then that I felt an extremely male part of him, pressing insistently into my stomach as he pulled me into his arms and captured my lips for a searing kiss that left me breathless. I was apprehensive due to what Willow had just told me, but the second Angelus kissed me I felt like I couldn’t resist. He was so powerful over me with his dark allure and his charming beauty.

I dropped my cell phone.

Even the fact that we were closely surrounded by a hundred other people, separated by a simple wall of steel: wasn’t enough to make me give up his kiss. I needed his kiss. I needed everything he could give me. I felt like an addict. I could only wonder briefly…Are there support groups for women addicted to Angelus D’Aestas?

“Angelus,” I whispered as his hands trailed down the silky material of the black top I’d changed into at Angelus’ when we stopped there before going to the airport. “Angelus, we can’t do this here.” I had to ask myself why on earth I was trying to fight against something I wanted so very bad.

He chuckled softly, knowing me too well. His lips trailed down my neck and he whispered, “yes we can…And yes we will.” His fingers hooked under the hem of my shirt, and he pulled it off to reveal my black, lacy bra. Well you can’t really call it a bra, because it honestly doesn’t do much. It’s more like a piece of alluring lingerie that I had put on with my evening gown for dinner, thinking that perhaps if everything went well, I could sneak off with Angelus after I went to ‘bed’ for the night.

He clamped his teeth over my left nipple as his fingers began working on the top of my jeans. I gave in then, and my fingers made their own trail down his chest and to the top of his dark dress pants. I felt a fire as hot as lava coursing through my veins as I nibbled on Angelus’ lips. I knew I could never get enough of him, no matter what I thought when he was plotting to kill my entire universe of family and friends. Angelus was a part of me…Eternally.

Kissing him with all I beheld in my soul, he pushed me back and sat me on the small counter. I could only think that this was going to be awkward with my jeans still on, but Angelus surprised me with his knowledge of how to make anything work…Any place. Pulling my jeans and panties down to my knees, he then lifted my legs up to my shoulders. That worked. I was open and bare to him, and this position would enable him to penetrate me further than he had ever before.

Feeling the head of his thick member pressing on my dripping folds, I gasped and my eyes shot open to lock gazes with his dark pools of mystery. I smirked softly at the idea that I’d found paradise. It was all in Angelus. He was ecstasy. Perfection defined. Everything I’d ever dreamed of, and everything I’d never known to exist as a possibility for my future.

He pushing in slowly, taking his time to enjoy the total and utter feeling of ‘rightness’ that we both felt when we were joined together. Pulling out again, he pushed back in as he clamped his lips over the throbbing vein in my neck, intensifying the emotions running through me ten times.

“Angelus,” I whispered in a breathy voice as he drew out of me and pushed back inside. “Harder. Please, harder,” I begged, wanting to feel everything he could give to me. “Oh God, please harder.”

He growled, sending vibrations through my blood stream. In the distance, I swear I heard a ringing of some kind. Was it an alarm clock? Was it a phone? Was it a watch of some kind? What the Hell was that noise?

And as Angelus drove me insane pinching my nipples, pushing into me with a driving force, and sucking my neck…The phone stopped ringing.

On the floor, the small cell phone’s screen announced that the caller was…Willow. The brief message on the phone was solemn, short, and meaningful in all its frightening syllables.

It said simply, “Help.”


Part 9

Note: A few of the Dark Beauty chapters have been pretty light, but this one gets dark again. This is probably the darkest fic on my site, so get ready for a little more. NC-17.

**Gypsy, sitting looking pretty,
A broken rose and laughing eyes.
You're a mystery, always running wild,
Like a child without a home.**

Isn't it funny how even when surrounded by the person you love, you can feel completely alone and lost. That's sort of how I began to feel as the limo drove deeper and deeper into the Canadian forest. Angelus held me tight, not saying a word as we drove further and further away from all sense of reality. I wanted to say something. I wanted to protest where we were going. But I felt so hopelessly lost. Angelus was the only thing I knew and trusted.

My parents didn't know me. No one did. Willow had known more about me than anyone else, but after receiving her plea for help, I knew that she was gone. Inside, I was mourning the loss of my life, my friends, and my past. But outwardly, I was acting the role that Angelus wanted.

I was happy.

My heart was broken for the loss of the life I had thought gave me complete satisfaction. Yet at the same time, the idea of being hidden away from the world with Angelus, healed my wounds and made me smile. I wanted eternity in his arms. But at what cost would that come? I knew the answer. I'd always be hidden from the world. I would be forced to live in the dark recesses of existence, as Angelus had survived for many years.

Many decades.

**You're always searching, searching for a feeling,
but it's easy come and easy go.
I'm sorry but it's true, you're bringing on the heartache,
Taking all the best of me.**

I stopped my thoughts as the limo pulled into a long, gated driveway. The last of my hope for family left at that moment. I was home now. Everything else about my world- or what had once been my world-was a mystery to me. All I had left now, was Angelus and all the love he could ever provide me. Thought that would surely be enough for me and the rest of my life. The rest of my eternity.

The mansion that the limo stopped in front of, was a stone home of loneliness. With one look at it, I knew that this would be where what was left of my innocence-would be torn away. I was about to lose what was left of me. I was about to become something else.

Someone else.

No longer would I be an individual. I would be a part of Angelus, as he would be a part of me. I wouldn't be thought of as Buffy Summers. I'd be thought of as Angelus' mate. His equal. His other half.

And though the rest of my world was crumbling…I was excited about that idea. I wanted that title. Angelus' other half. It made sense to me. It sounded honest. It sounded true. It sounded like my destiny.

**Oh can't you see, you got the best of me, oh can't you see.
You're bringing on the heart break. Bringing on the heart ache.
You're bringing on the heart break. Bringing on the heart ache.
Can't you see?**

I know these thoughts probably confuse you. I mean, one second I'm sad about being taken away from everything I love. And the next, I'm glad about it because it means I get to be with Angelus-who I love more than anything. But let me just say, that as confusing as they are to you…They confuse me more. I have no true direction for my thoughts, rather than the ones that Angelus provides me with. And even those thoughts don't give me direction. I'm simply following him right now. That's all I can do at this point, because what I thought was my direction…isn't my fate at all.

Getting out of the limo on Angelus' arm, was a blur to me. He guided me into the large, cold, stone home. Smiling down at me, he whispered into my ear, "do you want an eternity of me, my love?"

I knew he'd lost his mind. I knew he'd never had one to begin with. But I didn't care. He was as blind for passion and love as I was. Together, we were senselessly walking into an eternity of love and passion. But at least I knew we would be together…Forever.

**You're such a secret, misty-eyed and shady,
Baby how you hold the key.
Oh you're like a candle, your flame is slowly fading,
Burning out and burning me.**

I answered him solemnly, barely able to hear anything besides the words he spoke to me. Everything was blurred as my past crumbled to dust, and my heart unfolded to the Dark Beauty next to me. "Yes," I whispered. "I do."

"Come with me, love," he said, guiding me from the room with an air of success rolling off of his every step and motion. I knew what was coming now. He was claiming me. He was changing me. He was turning me.

He was bringing me into his darkness. He was making it OUR darkness. And I didn't care. I wanted it. I wanted him. I want him with all that I am, and all that I am about to become under his hands, and his directions. My heart races as I think of the exquisite ways in which he's about to touch me. I probably shouldn't be so happy about this. I should be fearing death. But I welcome it with a helpless passion that tells me that death, now, is the only way.

**Oh can't you see? Just trying to say to you,
You're bringing on the heartache.
Taking all the best of me, oh can't you see?
You got the best of me, oh can't you see?**

Angelus guided me into a dark bedroom. It had very little decoration. It was all dark. It was all red. Blood red. The main point of the room, was the large, mahogany bed in the center of the room, with a blood red duvet and pillows, and a blood red canopy draped all around it. Angelus lifted me into his arms, and took me to the bed. Without a word, he laid me down.

He gazed down at me, and took a breath of unneeded air. "I love you," he whispered, and then leaned down to kiss me. His lips were like daggers, and I felt my lower lip tear, providing me with a taste of my coppery sweet blood. Angelus pulled his head back and looked down at me. Seeing the drop of blood on my lip, he pressed his fingertip to my lip, and raised his finger to his lips to taste my blood.

Kissing me again, this time deeper, I suddenly felt a presence on my closed eyelid. I frowned, trying to squint it away without opening my eyes.

When the kiss finally ended, I gazed up into Angelus' face, and noticed that my vision was red. Tears of blood were staining his eyes, and one of his dark tear drops had fallen into my own eye. "You're the only thing I've ever wanted," he whispered softly. "But if you tell me now, that you don't want me…I'll let you leave. But if you tell me that, you'll have to perform one task before you go…Kill me."

I shook my head in response. "Take me, Angelus," I whispered, pronouncing his name in a way that I knew no one else ever pronounced it. When I heard other people speak his name, they spoke it as if it were two separate words. "An-jealous." It sounded like jealousy. And perhaps those people were jealous of him. Of his beauty. Of his grace. Of his darkness. But when I spoke his name, it was one word. One sweet, undeniably perfect word that summarized every ounce of the love I felt for him. It was like a prayer. A chant of faithful pledging.

**You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.
You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.
Can't you see? Can't you see?**

"Are you sure?" he quested, his dark eyes searching my own and making him look more vulnerable then he had the strength to look. I nodded softly, and pulled him down to kiss him once more. I wouldn't have this heat to send to him soon, so I had to feel his cold lips warm under my own just once more. I had to know just once more, that I was making him warm…though he made me cold.

Clothing was gone in a matter of seconds. I don't know how we got undressed so quickly, but one second I was kissing him tenderly, feeling his lips warm despite their lack of temperature. And the next, Angelus was sliding his desire into me, boiling me in a way that only he, knew how to warm me. "I just have to feel the heat," he whispered into my ear in a wet voice of seduction. "I have to feel the heat just once more. Just one more time before I bring you to the cold to me…To the darkness."

"I'm ready," I told him as I lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. "I'm ready…I love you."

He smiled softly at me. "I know." And that was all there was left for us to say. As he drove into me, sliding in and out of my heat and burning me to the core, I couldn't find the words to speak anymore…I couldn't find the strength. I held tightly to him as he completed me. I had nothing else to hold on to, except him. He was my life line. My connection to reality…As blurred and surreal as it may be.

**You got the best of me, oh can't you see?
You got the best of me, oh can't you see?**

I felt my grip loosening. So Angelus held tighter to me, making sure that I stayed with him. He knew how far gone I was, and how close I was to losing my mind completely. He knew my soul was fading in its own way, though inside it was still thriving and conquering with the love that he felt for me.

My climax was approaching, and I wanted him there with me, so I pulled him in further with each thrust of his hips. I could hear him panting despite the fact that he didn't need to breathe. I felt him inwardly crying at the selfish act that he thought he was performing by claiming me as his own, and taking me away from the rest of the world. But I couldn't ease his cries. He was too lost in his self-deception, to see the truth about how meant to be we really were.

It was at this moment, that I felt inner completion. My muscles began to contract as pleasure swept through my body, mind, and soul. I let out a breathless scream. A silent shriek. The only person who could hear it, was Angelus. We were all alone in our little paradise of passion and desire. I squeezed tightly to Angelus, forcing out his own eclipse of pleasure.

**You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.**

He vamped-out then. His beautiful face changing into the one of his darker beauty. His other half. It was somehow, just as beautiful as his true form. Or perhaps, it was so beautiful because this was the base of him. This was what he was without his mask. His mask of equal beauty.

His mask of darkness.

He continued to draw deeper inside of me, never slowing as he leaned down to lick over the vein in my neck. "Forever," he whispered into my skin in a barely audible whisper that the average person would not have understood if they'd had the strength to strain their ears to hear it.

And I felt the first touch of his fangs to my skin, piercing through with razor-sharp ease. He paused as he entered my skin, and took a moment to allow me to adjust. I knew he was thinking the same thing as I was. I wanted to savor this act of completion, so that I remembered it clearly in five hundred years. I was thankful that he gave me a chance to gather myself before I whispered for him to go on.

**You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.**

As he took the first taste of me, I screamed out as pleasure wracked my already-strung- out nerves. I began chanting his name as he drew from me, taking all that he could. He was taking shallow sips; taking his own sweet time. I was thankful for this chance to connect. It made this act of love and commitment so much more exquisite. Who would have thought that I would ever see death and rebirth as the most incredibly beautiful act in the world?

I never thought I'd see the day…And from now on…I won't.

**You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.**

My eyes wanted to shut. I was losing my consciousness. It was then, that Angelus stopped. He reverted to his human visage, and gazed down at me; watching as my last drops of life remained. I wanted to panic then. Wasn't he going to turn me? Wasn't he going to return the blood that he had taken?

If he was…why was he taking so long?

"I love you," he whispered. "But how can I bring you to this death of life? How can I be so cruel to you? You deserve heaven. You deserve ecstasy. As much as you believe that I can give you that…I don't know if I can. I should just let you go in peace now, knowing that I've loved you enough to let you go and live the rest of my darkness alone."

Inside, I was screaming, though I didn't have the strength to actually make a sound. My eyes were blinking more and more. I was fighting for my consciousness as I watched Angelus' eyes flicker with conflicting emotions and decisions. And from nowhere, I found a strength I hadn't possessed ever before. It was my determination to love him. I bit down on my life, drawing more blood. I made sure there was a small amount, and then I licked it off my lip.

Oh God, please help him to understand that this is what I want! I want my eternity with his darkness! Don't let him let me go!

**You're bringing on the heart break, bringing on the heart ache.**

And then it happened. His wrist appeared over my lips, and he began to cry. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just can't let you go. I can't." He shut his eyes to attempt to stop the tears. Doesn't he realize how urgent this is getting? My heart is beating just once, every ten seconds. Why can't he just save me?

And then I tasted it. His free hand slit open his wrist, and I tasted his blood. I opened my lips for him to pour it down my throat. I didn't have the strength left in me to remain conscious and drink down his essence.

I was done. I was finished. I was dead.

**You're bringing on the heart break.**

But I was reborn.


Part 10

The soul is a difficult thing to understand. Sometimes you give it to someone. Sometimes it's taken. Upon death, it leaves your body. But where does it go? What does it do? Does someone get it and re-use it like a plastic bag from a department store? Or does it go into a vault in the skies, and wait for judgement.

If there was ever a book that totally explained it, I can guarantee that most people wouldn't even buy it, because honestly…Who could understand the soul enough to write a book about it? So why read something that has no truth at all?

In all honesty, I didn't know why I still had my soul. I opened my eyes and discovered that I still gave a damn about the world…but I had no clue as to why. Why did I still have a conscience? This wasn't right. Angelus had told me that for most vampires, it's over for my soul. That was the way it was for him in a way. His had been retained for some reason, but he had learned to bury it deep beneath the consciousness of his reality and his mind.

**You're always searching, searching for a feeling,
But it's easy come and easy go**

There was that song again. I opened my eyes fully, and discovered the world was not as I had left it. Everything was so beautiful. So full of life. But looking down at my body, I discovered that I was not as I remembered. My skin was ivory. My fingernails were blood-red, as if painted that way for eternity. And my hair…My beautiful, blonde locks…Were black. Deep, deadly black. I pulled my hair into my full view, and examined it. Was it wash off color that someone had put in as a prank? No. It was permanent. It was natural.

It was death.

**You're like a candle, your flame is slowly burning,
burning out and burning me**

I looked all around me for an answer. A reason. I was in a black room. Everything was black. From the sheets, to the carpet. From the bed spread, to the walls, to the ceiling, to the lace, see-through canopy curtains that hung all around the gigantic bed I had been placed on.

I was dressed in black. A pair of tight, black pants, and a tight black shirt with long, bell sleeves and a low-cut top that exposed the top of the breasts that had seemed to have grown substantially while I slept…or died.

Memories flashed back to me in a row. All of them. My mind was whirling with what had happened. Angelus. He had turned me. But where was he now? Had he left me here all alone to fend for myself? Had he decided I wasn't worthy, and simply run away and left me to die without a friend in the world?

"No, I'm here," came that deeply passionate voice that I'd missed so much while I slept my Sleep of Death. He came out of the shadows, and I sat up quickly to look closely at him. "I could never leave," he said, stopped at the foot of the huge bed, still outside the black curtains.

"What's happened to me?" I asked in a low voice. "My…" I looked down at my hands and then back to Angelus. "Everything is so changed. My hair…My hands…"

"It was the same for me," he said in a lowered tone, as if remembering a time he had tried hard to forget. "I had brown hair. I woke with black. I had been tanned. I woke pale. I hadn't had the muscle that you see I have now. Your body has changed in its own ways, to adapt to the life of seduction that a vampire leads. You are the picture of black perfection. Beauty in all its total darkness. The most incredible creature I've ever laid my eyes upon."

If I could, I might have blushed at his words. But I was cold. My temperature didn't rise. Blood did not rush to my cheeks. As I was now though, I remained pale and cold.

"H-how long have I been sleeping?" I asked softly, averting my eyes from his intense stare to look up at the ceiling of the canopy bed, acting as if I hadn't been looking at it for the past five minutes, and that I had no idea as to exactly what it looked like.

"Twenty-three hours. It takes most vampires twenty-five to wake, so you can imagine my shock at the thought that you're awake now. If I'd known you'd be early, I would have been by your side when you awoke. As it is, I only left you for the short time to change my clothing. Other then that, I have been here," he gestured to a chair next to me outside the curtains. I could picture Angelus sitting in it, that brooding look on his face as he watched me slowly die.

"Why did I awaken early?" I asked, confusion marring my mind and my face. "Is that normal?"

"No," he said, confusion mastering his eyes as well. "But I suspected that due to the fact that my nature is so different from other vampires, that yours as well would be."

"What about the others that you have turned? How long did they take?" I asked, simply assuming that I was not the first that he had brought over to the night.

"There have been no others," he surprised me with his solemn answer.

"What do you mean 'there have been no others'?" I asked. "You've been around for over two centuries, and you've never done this before? You've never turned somebody?" When he said nothing, I got his simple answer of 'no'. I took a moment to think about it, and then I asked, "why?"

"I've never so desired a companion of love, as to turn someone to the darkness that I know. I've never risked a mortal's life to accompany my own. I can't believe, even now, that I have," he looked down as if deeply ashamed of what he'd done.

"Angel?" my voice broke as I threatened to cry. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. He looked up to me and began to walk around to the side of the bed next to me. When all that stood between us was the veil, I asked in a quiet voice, "do you regret making me?"

"Buffy, no," he looked at me as if bewildered that I would even find a way to consider that as a possibility. "Not for a moment."

I began to cry then. A single tear fell from my eye, and began to roll its way down my cheek. I shut my eyes to calm myself and when I opened them again, the veil had been lifted and Angelus stood up to me, his fingers lifting my chin so that he could gaze into my eyes. The bed was so high that the top of it reached just past his hips. This held my face conveniently at the height of his own.

Keeping my eyes focused on him to keep from crying any more, I took a deep, now-unneeded breath to steady what had once been the racing of my heart. He slowly, tenderly, reached a finger to m cheek and wiped away my tear. Then he showed me his fingers. Instead of the salty, clear liquid of my tear, on his finger was blood. I was crying tears of blood.

"Angel?" I asked, looking from his fingers to his eyes once again. But there was nothing else to be said as he dove down and captured my lips with his own for a passionate kiss. I noticed the differences in our kiss now. The nerves in my lips were no longer stimulated by just the touch of his lips to my own. But I still felt as alive as I always had when he kissed me. It was as if all the blood in my body, rushed to the one part of me that was being stimulated. The kiss was a rush in its own, and I felt dizzy as his tongue swept into my mouth to caress my own.

Breaking away finally, Angelus gazed down at me with his deep, searching eyes. "I want to show you something." Stepping back a step and offering his hand, he waited for me to gather myself.

Finally I accepted his hand and slid to the side of the bed and off. It was incredible. I stepped onto the floor, and I could feel the earth humming beneath me like never before. I could feel life all over the world. The universe. It was every where in all its veracious glory; seeping through the floor boards and into my veins. I looked to Angelus for answers, and he said, "it's like that at first. Life all around you. In everything. It will fade slightly over the next few days. Then you'll be able to control it. Tune it in and use it when you need it."

"What would I need it for?" I asked, confused.

Solemnly, as if it was nothing at all, he said, "to find the living." He paused for a moment, and then gripped my hand tighter in his own larger palm. "Come…There's something else I want you to see," and with that, he led me from the room.

Every step was bittersweet. I could feel life. I could feel passion. But at the same time, I could feel death…sorrow…despair. I wished that Angelus would carry me to what he wanted me to see. But instead, he forced me to walk it through. He held my hand; stood besides me- but made me learn.

We arrived at a solid oak door that looked solid enough to stop an army. Angelus looked down at me, "it's daytime," he said simply, and pushed open the door to guide me into the room. All around the room were blood-red, velvet drapes made of the thickest material I'd ever seen. "Behind these curtains…it's all glass. This side of the house has the most sun exposure of the day time."

"So why are we here?" I asked. "Won't the sunlight kill me?"

He said nothing. Stepping away from me, he walked casually over to the side of the room, to stand next to a hanging rope with gold tassels. I suddenly understood what was going on.

"Angelus…" I whispered, beginning to back up in fear.

His actions were so quick that my only reaction was to cover my face with my arms as he yanked the cord, and every single drape fell to the floor. I screamed with all of the air in my dead lungs, waiting for the pain of burning to arrive…but it never came. Slowly, I lowered my hands from my eyes, and opened them to see what had happened. Angelus was standing next to me, looking out at the world that should have been sunny. It was day time for sure…but the sky was black.

The sky…was black.

Black as I had never seen in any thunderstorm or night sky. The world had an odd glow about it that showed how it should have been bright, but the sun didn't seem to be getting through the blackness that covered the horizon. "I-I don't understand," I whispered in a trembling voice, still afraid that at any second now, I would burst into flames and be dead.

"Through my years I've read many prophecies, Buffy. I've shared many of them with you. But…one in particular always stood out to me. I just never understood why. Until I saw this," Angelus motioned to the world outside of us.

"What was the prophecy?" I asked, my voice still low. I found it difficult to take my eyes off of the sight before me. After all, it might be the last time that I get to look at the world with a glow such as this, without bursting into flames.

"The prophecy was Celtic. I believe it went something like…'The Dark Prince-alone no more, having found his Princess of Purity…will look upon his world with a new vision. And the skies will darken to night during day. And the heavens will cry with fire. From the Chaos that shall reign, a Truth shall be born…and it will be eternal.'" He spoke with a deep tone that didn't reassure me at all.

"So it's gonna rain fire?" I asked, my confusion evident in my tone as well as my features.

Angelus chuckled softly. "That we have yet to see…But this is oddly similar, don't you think?"

I didn't respond as I looked into his smile-tickled features. Usually so dark and deep, they looked so different when he smiled or laughed. It dawned on me that this was one of the few times that I had ever seen him look calm…like he wasn't waiting for me to run from him, shrieking in horror. "This is it for us, right?" I asked, stepping up to him and reaching a hand to the side of his face. "It's always going to be like this?"

"Forever," he pulled my hips to his own, and leaned down to kiss me; holding eye-contact with me the entire time. His lips were tenderly firm against my own. Finally I closed my eyes, focusing in on the feeling of his lips, and the passion that he found a way to convey into my cold skin.

This is the kind of love that can kill you. You know? That's what's happened here. I've loved him enough to die for him…and let him be the one to make that happen. I've loved him enough to let him kill me. If you'd asked me a month ago, I would have told you this type of love was crazy. Something I would never want, and never stand for if it happened to me. I would have left something like this…of course, that was before I knew how it could feel coursing through my veins. Even now, in death.

**Long lost words whisper slowly, to me,
still can't find what keeps me here**

I held up my arms, keeping my lips firmly captured by Angelus' as he slid my top up and off of me. Tossing it away, and immediately re-capturing my kiss. His hands slid up to my face, my black hair getting tangled around his fingers as he slid his fingers over my scalp, smoothing his thumbs over my temples.

We stopped kissing for a split second. I look up into his eyes, and it was as if time froze. I could only see him. How much I wanted him. No amount of time with him-even eternity- would ever be enough. I knew that now.

**When all this time I've been so hollow, inside,
I know you're still there**

"What color are my eyes?" I whispered, wondering what he was looking at as he gazed down at me with that passionately intense stare. He didn't answer for a moment, opting instead to kiss me for a moment. A soft, lingering kiss that shot sparks through my mind, and made my heart jump for just a moment.

"The color of rain," he answered, his eyes shut as we parted our lips from one another. Opening them again, he whispered, "rain."

**Watching me, wanting me, I can feel you pull me down,
Feeling you, loving you, I won't let you pull me down**

Erupting into a floor of passion, clothing was gone in a matter of seconds. I shrieked breathlessly as Angelus lifted me into the air. My legs wrapped around him, and as I pulled my hips flush against his own, he slid into me in a simple thrust.

He carried me to the nearest solid wall, and pressed me roughly against it. If as a human I had acknowledge pain and disliked it, now as a vampire I barely noticed it…but what I noticed, I discovered I liked. It sent an adrenaline rush through my veins like nothing else had ever done before.

**Haunting you, I can smell you, alive,
your heart pounding in my head**

We flew gracefully into our own rhythm of desire. Angelus' eyes were layered with darkness again. But he smirked softly at me as his left hand cupped the side of my head to hold my face still for his lips to attack my own. I found myself compelled to bite on his lips. Drawing blood, I sucked it into my mouth greedily. Loving the sweet, coppery taste that stung my tongue with each drop.

He growled at my actions, angling my hips to reach just a little bit further with each and every stroke. I found myself so close to the edge.

To ecstasy.

**Watching me, wanting me, I can feel you pull me down,
Saving me, raping me, watching me**

I squeezed my inner muscles around him, and he groaned loudly. With all the power I possessed, I reached my hands to the wall behind me, and pushed off. Angelus lost his balance, and fell to the floor just as I'd wanted him too. Straddling his hips, I rode him firmly my mind glazed with the passion and intensity of the moment.

It came so fast, but seemed to last forever. My orgasm swept through my veins and crashed through my body like no other. I shut my eyes and dropped my head backwards, shrieking out. Heat exploded from the very core of me, and it seemed to be all around me. Everything was so hot. How can it be hot? I wondered. But I didn't have to wonder much longer. Soon, I would know why it felt so hot…

**Watching me, wanting me, I can feel you pull me down,
Feeling you, loving you, I won't let you pull me down**


I wandered through the darkened castle slowly, looking over everything and exploring my new surroundings. I found my way back to the room of glass that Angelus and I had been in just hours before, watching the world that should have been lit with sunlight. We had worked our way through several rooms and hallways, making passionate, intense love at every turn.

I opened the door and gasped at what I saw. The sky was filled with fire.


I woke slowly, taking my time to reach into my conscious mind and explore recent events and memories to see if it was worth opening my eyes to great the day. I remembered Buffy, and I realized it was most certainly worth it. And upon blinking my eyelids open, I was faced with beauty and perfection defined.

Buffy, sitting next to me in a black, silk kimono; looking like a dream. She was watching me with a smile on her face, letting me know that she had indeed been spying on me while I slept. "Hey sleepy head," she smiled. "How are you feeling today?"

I smiled softly, "I'm great." When she made no move to come closer or give me a kiss, I asked, "am I to understand that you're not happy to see me wake up?" I found myself feeling oddly playful.

She smiled coyly and raised her extremely-short, silk outfit up so that she could swing one leg over my hips so that she straddled me. Walking her fingers up and down my chest, she smiled softly. Leaning down to kiss me teasingly, I felt the start of my desire for her. In all honesty, I could be anywhere in the world with Buffy, and still want her. She could make me hard with a look, a touch, a whisper...A sensual caress...Like the one she was giving my ab muscles now.

I groaned when she broke the kiss, but smiled again when her fingers slid down to stroke me through my black silk boxers. "I'm very happy that you've woken up," she answered my question from before. "Now, perhaps I can persuade you to wake up...A bit more?" as she spoke, she lowered her lips to my bare chest and licked around my left nipple.

I chuckled softly, "I'm already up, baby."

Grabbing me firmly, she smiled, "I can tell."

This had to be a dream. No reality could be this good. The concept of waking up to the woman of my dreams, wanting me-no! craving me, made me highly suspicious as to whether or not I was anywhere near the normal level of consciousness required to be considered 'awake'.

But as she slipped off my boxers, I realized that I was certainly not dreaming. Finally unable to keep from touching her, I sat up. As she kneeled up and straddled my waist once more, I found that her breasts were at the perfect height for me at the moment. In a quick motion, I undid the sash of her useless robe, and it dropped down around her arms; revealing her perfect breasts.

I smiled and leaned in to capture one pert nipple in my mouth. She gasped and pulled my head closer, reveling in the new feelings I sent through her. Just like that, I found myself harder than ever. She could get to me so easily. I'd say it wasn't fair, but that's not true. She always makes sure that I'm...well taken care-of when the need arises.

Reaching one hand between us, I realized much to my delight that she wasn't wearing any panties. I slid my index finger into her heated, dripping slit. She dropped her head back and clenched her folds around my finger, gasping out her rapturous encouragement. "Angel," she whispered my name as she dropped her head down and buried her face in my hair.

I didn't reply as I moved from one perfect breast to the other, beginning to pump my finger in and out of her in a slow, driving rhythm that pressed my thumb against her sensitive clit. I swirled my tongue around the undercurve of her breast, and scraped my teeth along the tip; eliciting a delighted moan from my willing lover. I delivered playful nips to her soft flesh, making her squirm in my lap and giggle in the most adorable fashion.

I couldn't resist her luscious depths' calls anymore. Pulling my finger from her, I lifted her up and guided my raging erection into her dripping folds. She let out a sigh of contentment as I slid in all the way. I looked down at my finger now, and saw that it was soaking wet with her juices. I smiled softly, unable to contain my curiosity.

Lifting my finger slowly, I pressed it to her lips. She smiled and complied to my silent request, sucking her own essence from my finger. I chuckled softly, "that's my girl." I pulled my finger away and swallowed her lips in a tender kiss. She giggled girlishly and wrapped her arms around my neck as I kissed her with deep intensity. I could taste her in her own mouth now, and it managed to do the impossible: it made me want her even more.

Grasping her hips firmly, I lifted her off my raging erection until just the tip remained inside. She opened her eyes to look down at me as the fresh air hit the now-vacant insides of her. "Angel," she whispered, and pushed down on me despite my efforts to hold her still and enjoy the moment of being just barely united.

My girl couldn't control herself? Fine by me.

She braced her hands on my shoulders, and rose to her knees once more, starting a rhythm of her own that the gleam in her eyes was asking me to follow. I smirked and thrust upwards, meeting her quiet demands of dominance. Unable to keep from touching her however, I snatched my lips onto her left breast once more as my fingers slid down her rib cage to rub her clit tenderly. She moaned now with each thrust, whispering one command over and over again...


I complied, wrapping my free arm around her and pushing up further into her with every thrust. She let out a light shriek of shocked joy as I pressed against her womb. She began a new maneuver then, that I had never felt her do before. Whenever she raised off me, she tightened her inside walls to push back on me, making it even tighter around my thick cock.

I groaned, shutting my eyes as I nipped at the sensitive skin between her breasts. My little sex goddess was experimenting. How very interesting. If this was anyone besides Buffy, I would have taken this as my cue to start introducing her to the many sex toys that could provide interesting and pleasurable experimentation. But suddenly the idea of allowing anything to touch her-even if it was just plastic or battery operated-made me growl. Nothing would ever pleasure her body...Except my own. Of that, I was sure. She would eternally find pleasure in my body, and I in hers. Nothing would be placed between us as a barrier, and nothing would be used on her to produce pleasure. No nipple clamps. Not clit teasers. No dildos.


I groaned as I felt myself beginning to peak. I usually didn't come so fast, but when it was Buffy-in this erotic state of seduction, control and dominance-I couldn't help but be ready to come from the moment that we started.

Wanting her to join me in ecstasy, I pressed against her clit firmly, and put all of my passion and desire into my voice as I continued to drive up into her. "Do you wanna come, baby? Does that feel good? Tell me how good it feels, lover. You're dripping wet, and you're so damn tight. Tell me how good it feels. Tell me, lover." I nipped up the skin on the side of her neck, and she gasped

. "It feels so good," she finally choked out a sentence. "So good. So good. So good.-Oh God! Harder. Please, harder."

"Harder what, lover?" I chuckled softly, knowing that in her current state of delight-she would answer just about any question I asked as long as I pleasured her for it.

"Please push harder," she whispered. "I want to feel all of you inside of me, Angel. All of you. Please. Please. Please," her last words were barely audible as she clenched her eyes shut and bit her bottom lip firmly.

I took this time and flipped her over onto her back, lifting her legs up to her shoulders so that I could penetrate deeper. I kneeled at her tight entrance, and guided my cock back into her. She screamed as I beat down into her with a driving force that probably would have alarmed and frightened her if she didn't like it as rough as I'd come to know that she did. My lover's tastes for pleasure closely matched my own. Now to see if she'd be interested in playing a few games with me...Possibly with chains?

As she started to come, I bit down on her neck, eliciting another scream from her. "Angel!" she yelled my name at the top of her lungs as she exploded. With one final push inside of her- I was there with my lover: floating on a wave of unsurpassed pleasure that crashed down and drowned us every two milliseconds, showing no signs of slowing.

When I opened my eyes, it was to see my love's gorgeous face covered in a mask of glowing delight. I kissed her smiling lips tenderly, and lowered her legs, pulling out of her. One look at her tight channel with my seed glistening on her delicate outer lips, and I was hard again. But I allowed my lover the brief reprieve...Brief, that is. Her strength would be limited since she hadn't yet had her first meal.

I was about to roll off her and pull her into my arms, when she pulled me down on top of her; silent requesting the feeling of my weight crushing down on her. Not one to refuse the idea of covering my darling completely, I agreed and buried my head in the pillow next to her neck. I smirked when she started kissing my neck, but I made no move to react just yet. She wanted to take things slow sometimes. This, I could tell, was going to be one of those times. Now that we had satisfied our animalistic urges and carnal fires to the point of bringing them down to a neutral ground: she would want to take time to love one another.


Fine by me. Worshipping my goddess is a new hobby. One I never thought that I would find delight in. But the way that she makes me feel, ensures me to the end-that I was always a hobbiest at heart...I just never found my passion before her. Because after all...She is my passion.

"Did you know it rained?" she whispered into my skin.

"Really?" I asked, sliding my face along the soft layer of her skin. It was so cold and refreshing, despite how hot I knew she could feel.

"It wasn't just normal rain," she said in a hushed tone, as if she was telling a secret that she didn't want any cameras that might be hidden in the room, to know about or hear. I looked up at her and waited for the rest of what she had to say. Slowly, she whispered, "it was fire."


please feed Angel

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